A psychologist once asked me why I was an addict. Was it because I had a bad life? Or did I have a bad life because I was an addict? My answer to him was this, it was both. The addicts mind is stuck in a sick loop, they're riding a merry go round they cannot get off of. To people on the outside the answer seems so simple, "Just stop", if only it were that simple.
The addicts beliefs are bad, they're brain is running on bad programs, it's a sick place to be, I know, I was there for a long time. Nobody understands the mindset of an addict better than another addict. This has been proven time and again. This is also the number one reason 12 step groups work so well. Addiction is like having an invisible enemy, tricking you, destroying you; only others can really see what's going on, you're unaware most of the time. Fighting addiction is like shadow boxing, it's hard to hit something that's not there. Even when you reach the point of wanting to quit, of wanting to fight it and win, you will lose, if you trust your own mindset, and judgment.
I finally reached the chronic stages, the last stage, before I was willing to do “Anything” to beat it. Sure, I said that many times before, but this time I really meant it, I had enough, I was finally doing it for “Me”. Not for the wife, or my mother, or boss, for “Me”. I turned my life and my will over to those better qualified to help me, fellow addicts. I was in the hospital at the time, for the umpteenth time, lucky I had survived this long. When I got out they were waiting for me, my fellow addicts. I stuck close to them for a long time, trusting their advice and judgment, not my own.
I am still involved in twelve step groups to this day; it has been 11 years since I cleaned up, 11 wonderful years with a lot of good and some bad, memories. Life doesn't stop happening because I cleaned up, it will happen in spite of me I have learned. Good times, or bad times, saint or sinner, life goes on regardless. I see a lot of people fighting the fight, and losing. I have never seen an addict beat the disease on his or her own terms…ever. I see them go back out, time and again, trusting their own thinking and judgment, some losing their wives, children, jobs, or their lives. It always ends the same for those ones.
If you want to win, you have to give up, you can't beat it. Turn your will and life over to those better qualified to see the enemy and fight with you, you can't hit a shadow. “My name is Jack James”, and I'm an addict.
While i agree with your general premise, i have to take exception to your statement that 12 Steps groups "work so well". Anything that has a 90% failure rate can hardly be described as something that works well. Admittedly,it does help a small number of individuals, but the people i have met at meeting over the years can hardly be described as healthy. The Anonymous programs teach people that they have a disease and gives them a justification for a relapse. I was a heroin addict for ten years and even after spending 18 months in Klongprem Central Prison in Bangkok, i continued using until, as you mentioned, quitting was for me. Learning how the addiction circuits in the mid-brain work is the key to understanding addiction, not the 12 Steps. Peace and Love.
#2 by Jack James, Dec 22, 2007
90% do fail in the 12 Step program, as well as any other program, most simply don't make it, it has nothing to do with the program itself.
The 90% failure rate is with those individuals. A small number of individuals is all that ever make it anyway you look at it, so you're statistic is a little off, to say the least.
You said "The Anonymous programs teach people that they have a disease and gives them a justification for a relapse."
That's not what they teach, or ever taught, and only someone with very little experience with the 12 Step program speaks this way, I've heard it time and again from people with "Brief" exposure to the program. This is a common mis perception propagated by those who never really learned anything about the 12 Step program, but because of their attendance at a few meetings feel their opinion is informed.
#3 by The wife that was left behind, May 5, 2008
I agree the 12 step program works if you believe in the program and you work your program. I feel important for family member to seek their own 12 step program so they can better understand and be supportive not be an enabler. I feel the addict should find the underlying problem to their addiction as well. Congrats to you Jack for staying clean all these years. My husband was not so lucky he could not beat the disease and he took is own life. Keep up the good work and keep going to meeting because that is a true family of support that will understand where you been and how far you come.
