The First and obvious step to curing your hangover is of course: HYDRATION. The reason your head feels like you smacked it on something (unless of course you actually did in the course of the night) is because you are extremely dehydrated. You need some H2O and you need it quick. A good rule of thumb to remember is to consume 8 oz of water for every shot of alcohol drank. That means if you took 8 shots of Smirnoff the night before, you need 5 water bottles, or an entire pitcher, which ever you can grab first.
The second step is to SWEAT. Now that you have plenty of good liquid in your body, its time to get out the toxic stuff. The best way to do this is to take a nice long shower. It will open your pores up and let you sweat out all that poison you put in the night before. I suggest taking a seat and just letting the hot water run down soothingly over your sore body. But remember, this advice is only for those who live in an apartment, because there is no way that any part of your skin should touch any part of a dorm or fraternity shower.
The next step is to EAT. Now that your headache has lessened and you don't feel like you just got ran over by a truck, but you can actually hear the water swishing around inside your stomach, it's time to cure the nausea. But beware at this point. You don't want to eat something that is just going to come right back up the same way it came in. In order to avoid the nasty morning-after vom, eat something basic and filling. Avoid greasy breakfast food aka IHOP. The fat and oil will have a very unpleasant meeting with the alcohol still inside your stomach (a picture of those creepy Slim Jim commercials from a few years ago comes to mind). You should try a casual muffin or bagel filling you up and causing no other troubles.
If all else fails, just stay in bed and SLEEP. This is my favorite part of being in college; If you don't want to go to your 10am lecture Friday morning...you don't have to. If you do wake up, just take a few Ibuprofens to help subside your headache and nausea and let you R.I.P. while your tired body does all the work for you. But remember, DO NOT take Tylenol or any pain killer with Acetaminophen: it may damage your liver...and you have probably caused enough damage to your liver already...for one night at least.
