When It Is Not Enough Anymore
After the addiction begins taking its course and all you think of when you get up out of bed in the morning (if you go to sleep at all because you are not on the mind racking methamphetamine) is getting high in order to face the day, it becomes difficult to find a natural joy in things without that particular substance. After a while, you cannot find joy at all, even when you are high. That's when most people “graduate” to the method of “running” or “banging” (intravenous usage) their DOC (drug of choice).
Thankfully, I never “graduated” to this level. I was given “early release” from my time as a drug addict, so to speak, compliments of the State of Alabama Circuit Court and Honorable Judge Tommy Nail, who, as it turns out, actually saved my life by ordering me to endure the consequences of my actions.
Had I not been arrested and charged with trafficking methamphetamine, there is no doubt whatsoever in my mind now that I would have died within that year, 2001. I am sure I would have “graduated” my using methods, eventually, being so careless at that point and so unconcerned with anything other than being completely bombed every waking moment. I am fortunate not to have started shooting meth. It is so very difficult to successfully quit using when practicing that method of using any drug.
However, I have seen one person get away from “the needle” and quit intravenous drug use successfully. This is only one person, in comparison to unknown numbers who have not been able to do the same. I have no idea how to number them, either.
I have known more addicts than I can remember or count, as I had been on drugs for years. Moreover, not every “shooter” reveals their method of using, so there is really no way to calculate the exact amount of people I have known that did shoot up secretly. The only one I have known to successfully quit for more than one year's time is a counselor here in Birmingham. In addition, those who know the powerful grip of addiction still wonder when he will return to shooting K-4's (Dilaudid). This does not make for a very promising scenario, to say the least.
Just as unfortunate and sadly common, many shooters usually find that they have already contracted the deadly Hepatitis C or, even more horrifying, HIV. This creates even more reason (within the reasoning of the now terminally fated addict) for them to just keep on using, as they decide that facing the truth of their situation is too overwhelming of a scenario for them to face.
On a side note, Hepatitis does not only come from shared intravenous needles. Opiates, such as Lortab, or its “detox while undergoing needed counseling (as long as you can keep from going on the nod every 5 minutes) cure,” the legal government drug dealing, Methadone, can wear on the body to such a degree that the liver is left freely exposed to Hepatitis. I knew a couple of clients at a local Methadone clinic who died from Hep C, and they never touched a needle, were married to each other for more than 10 years, and did not engage in sexual promiscuity. It has also been said that when an intravenous drug addict uses a needle, does not discard it immediately, and uses it again after allowing it to sit with bodily fluids having been left on it, Hepatitis can be contracted though the user does not even share the needle with anyone else.
The Addiction to The Method of Usage
As well, “banging,” “shooting up,” or “running” a drug becomes another addiction in and of itself. When unable to score (find and use) methamphetamine, many shoot up water, crushed pills, or even the oil from peanut butter that they cooked down in a spoon and pulled into the syringe, to satiate the actual addiction of shooting something similar to the oil from methamphetamine or cocaine. Therefore, the method or ritual of using becomes a habit as strong as the addiction itself. Unbelievable but true, sometimes the habit of how one used a drug is just as addictive as the high from the drug itself.
After having been clean (having abstained from the drug) about a year from crystal meth, I remember missing the ritual of pouring meth out on foil and smoking it by inhaling the smoke through a straw or Bic Pen casing. I missed snorting something, anything. I did not miss the drug itself, or even the high, as much as I missed the ritual and how I used it. Having been clean a year, I did not crave the ritual as one would crave a drug high, but I missed the method or ritual of usage that I had performed over and over so many times before.
