Almost everyone has a vice or an addiction worth quitting. It could be biting your nails, gossiping, smoking, binge drinking … whatever your addiction, you can quit today.
Step 1: Want to Quit
You can not and will not quit unless you want to. If you're “just thinking about it” or reluctantly going through the motions on the request of your partner, family or friends you can forget about it.
First ask yourself, “Do I want to quit?”
Now the big question, “Am I really going to quit right now, right this very second, right on the spot?”
You have to answer yes to those questions. You can't turn around and have “just one more” smoke or drink. Once you really want to quit that's it. The most effective technique has always been “going cold turkey”, which means to quit without reducing your intake slowly or relying on crutches such as nicotine patches.
Chemical addictions leave your body relatively quickly. A person suffers a period of withdrawal until the chemical has left the body. “Coming down” is the physically hard part, the rest is completely emotional and mental.
Step 2: Justify Quitting
This is a really simple step. You already know why your addiction is bad for you. Everyone knows the health risks of smoking, drinking and eating too much. You know the social implications of excessive behaviour and off-putting habits like nail biting or hair pulling.
It helps to put it down in your own words. You don't have to read the warnings on the back of your cigarettes. What's important is what you think and how you feel.
Take a notepad and a pen and write down all the reasons you want to quit. It doesn't just have to be about health, or the usual jargon. You might see some financial gain in quitting the expensive bottles of Tequila, or you might have more vain reasons such as “I don't want smokers-cats-bum mouth when I'm 30”.
Keep writing. Take a break, have some lunch and if something else comes to mind, write it down. Keep your notepad with you. You might see something while you're out, like the girl in the supermarket with bleeding nail beds or the obese man wiping sweat from his arm pits. If something makes you think twice about your addiction, write it down.
Keep your reasons for quitting in plain view. Stick them on the fridge or on the wall above your bed, anywhere you can see them from day to day while you're still struggling with the chemical, emotional or mental difficulties of quitting.
Step 3: Manage your triggers
Do you eat when you feel bored? Does smoking calm your nerves? Do you crave alcohol when you're stressed or bite your nails when you're alone? Does gossiping make you feel more popular? When we do things habitually, we are filling voids.
Most people believe they are whole. They don't see their own weaknesses or understand their issues. Everyone encounters problems every day throughout their entire lives. Vices and addictions are simply ways of coping with these problems, and each of us learns to cope in different ways.
You don't have to be getting over a major trauma. If you have an addiction, you are hiding a deeper issue. It's as simple as that. Don't try and argue. No one will hear your objections. Everyone else probably sees your issues more clearly than you do.
Take a look at yourself
One fallacy that we all cling to is that the walls we build around ourselves are solid. Actually, our walls are really windows. Everyone can see straight through. Think about the people that you know; the tough ones, the mean ones, even the happy-go-lucky ones. You can see their weaknesses.
You know why your boss is cruel. His job is threatened by younger, smarter workers. He doesn't earn enough to pay his mortgage and he has no power within the company and so he takes it out on you. Why is the lady next door always so happy? You know her husband died 10 years ago and she's been burying her head in the sand ever since pretending everything is fine. Now turn around and look in a mirror. Your walls are made of glass, too. You have to take a look at yourself the same way you see the people around you.
Do you know where your issues lie? If you are really struggling, you could consider a heart-to-heart with a very close friend, or failing that you might need counselling. If your addiction is really serious (hard drugs, alcoholism, anything tearing your life apart) you should absolutely seek professional help in order to identify your deeper issues.
