Just Say No ... Are You Kidding Me?

When our First Lady at the time, Nancy Reagan, came out with her “Just Say No” to drugs slogan and campaign in the eighties, I and many other (now middle-class) ex-hippies just laughed and scoffed at the entire message. Highly addictive narcotics, like heroin, opium and cocaine, had always been on my no-no list, but the idea of lumping marijuana and hallucinogens in with that group of drugs was absurd to me.

I was amazed at how successfully this attitude swept over the country. I watched and listened in disbelief, as I saw and heard my generation, most of which (better than 60 percent) had smoked marijuana as teenagers and young adults, but now “conscientious” and “straight” members of the society they once derailed, jump onto the “Just Say No” bandwagon. Now married and raising children, they felt they needed to “set the right example” for the younger generation and the good of their kids. Oh, my Lord, you people are going to make me throw up, I thought.

It was as though an entire generation had suffered a convenient memory loss over what they had been like as young people. Suddenly, it was immoral and unhealthy to do any kinds of drugs. The blatant irony of it, the absolute unabashed hypocrisy exhibited by the grown-up flower children, was totally disgusting to me. We had not only failed in our attempts to change the world, we had now become very much like our parents in terms of so-called morality. And to make matters worse, we did not have innocence or naiveté to fall back on as an excuse!

Let's have a little fun poking at the “Just Say No” philosophy and the “reformed” Boomers who bought into it and propagate it to this day. If you are going to “just say no” to drugs because: (A) they are harmful to your body and mind, and/or (B) it is illegal to use them, then doesn't it also follow that:

• Alcohol, the most abused and harmful drug in our society, should be said “no” to. Should not alcohol consumption be illegal? Shouldn't we go back to prohibition? How many parents are telling their kids to “just say no” while sipping on an adult beverage?
• The U.S. population holds the distinction of being the most overweight society in the world, with the highest percentage of obesity, and our percentage of obese children has been steadily increasing over the past several decades. How many fat parents, with high blood pressure and rising cholesterol counts, have told their offspring to “just say no” to drugs, all the while teaching them (by example) how to eat themselves into poor health and an early death? Shouldn't there be a legal height-to-weight ratio limit, and anyone who exceeds it be thrown in jail for a 30-day fast, followed with a two-year forced and supervised probationary diet? Grocery stores selling to food abusers should be fined on the first offense and have their licenses to sell food revoked on the second offense, right?
• The Baby Boomers are now getting old and developing the normal attendant physical pains that come with aging. The result in terms of drug usage? Narcotics-based painkillers (like Oxycontin, Ultram, Valium and Vicadin) are now becoming among the most abused drugs in our country. You can even buy them over the Internet without a doctor's prescription. TV ads advise us to “tell your doctor you want “such and such” … at this point hasn't your doctor now become your dealer?If we are telling our kids to not take any drugs, shouldn't we be able to take the pain and “just say no” to these addictive drugs? Yes, yes, of course we should, and all these drugs should be illegal, and their users should be incarcerated.
• Coffee, tea, Coca-Cola and most soft drinks, including many of the now popular “energy drinks,” contain caffeine, which is an addictive drug. They should just be said “no” to. Caffeine should be illegal, and its use at least a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 90 days in the pen and a $500 fine. Plea bargains of no less than six months' probation and community service would help our youth understand the importance of “just saying no” to the Devil's Drinks.
• Although cigarette smoking is now banned in all U.S. public buildings, nearly all retail stores, restaurants, offices and professional buildings, and even barsin some cities, many Americans continue to smoke. The addictive qualities of nicotine, and the physical dangers of using tobacco, are probably the most documented and proven of all the drugs today. But I'll bet there are plenty of children being instructed to “just say no” while inhaling secondhand smoke in their homes. This should be a felony; “intent to do bodily harm,” with a minimum 10-year prison sentence, and our schools should encourage children to report their smoking parents to the police.
• How many children have been given the “just say no” talk by a parent who is driving the car 5-10 miles per hour (or more) over the legal speed limit? I say, “Arrest that man or woman, flog him or her, put the children in foster care homes and send the criminals off to jail!”