The late 70's; a time of shock rock, spiral perms, and skintight jeans. We were an army of fresh faced know-it-alls, emerging from the confines of public school and ready to take on the world. We had all the answers, and owed no one anything. Our parents, poor souls, were ancient human relics…we couldn't fathom the idea of being as old as they were. We snickered at the few adventurous ones who tried to recapture their youth, the Tony Testeroni's with their open shirts and gold chains, the cougars who wedged themselves into spandex and thought they were sexy doing it.
Now we're here, we're them. We've made that journey up the mountain of age and wisdom, only to learn a truth unknown to us before. We climbed it expecting that 40 was the peak, and anything after was "over the hill".
The reality is this though: what we believed to be the summit is really only the halfway point, the rest of the mountain is shrouded by the mists of immaturity, visible only to those who have earned the right to see it.
For most of us, reaching 40 isn't so much a crisis as it is an epiphany. It's a time of awakening and self discovery. It's our chance to nurture the dormant seeds of our formative years and bring them to fruition. The real crisis, if it can even be called that, is usually experienced by the people around us, in their failure to adjust to our changes.
Arlene is tiny, by anyone's standards, but on the fire ground, she's dwarfed by 200 lb. adrenaline junkies. It's a running joke at the fire hall that her gear has to be purchased at Toys R Us. Laughing as she explains the pitfalls of being the smallest firefighter, she scoops up her grandson and hoists him to the back of a rig.
Yes, you read that last line right. Arlene is a grandma and a firefighter. Stereotypical domestic skills have been abandoned for soot, sweat and tears. At the age of 44, she's one of the oldest members on the roster but has only been with the department for 3 ½ years.
"Sometimes I have a hard time believing I'm actually here," Arlene muses. "When I was a teenager, all I wanted was kids and a house with a white picket fence. I got to have both. As the kids got older though, I wanted something more. I'd always had a fascination with emergency services, and a friend of mine encouraged me to try out for the fire department. In spite of my husband's misgivings, I gave it a shot and put in my application. A few months later, as I was turning 41, I was accepted. My marriage collapsed 6 weeks later."
"It was worth it though," she continues. "Being on the department has made me stronger, more independent. I'm constantly learning that I'm far more capable than I ever give myself credit for, and that's very empowering. That strength has spilled over into other areas of my life and opened doors I didn't know existed. My marriage had reduced me to complacent servitude and zero growth; having it end was the best thing that could have happened for me. My dreams would still be nothing more than fantasy if I'd stayed."
Arlene's story isn't uncommon. Many of us allowed our lives to be shaped by peer, parental or spousal demands and put our own ideas on the back burner. Maturity has made us more resistant to outside pressures and better able to achieve personal goals.
At her father's insistence, Martha gave up her dream of becoming an artist and dutifully went to secretarial school. Now though, in spite of juggling a busy writing and editing career, she finds a few hours each week to spend time at her easel. While not the vocation she had originally envisioned, Martha has still managed to pursue her love of painting and feed her creativity.
It's not unusual to find us changing careers right around the 40 year mark. We've done the jobs we needed to do to pay the bills, not the ones we're excited to wake up for. The thought of working a lack luster position until we retire often spurs us to try new ventures. Employment at this stage of the game though requires some resourcefulness and ingenuity. In today's youth oriented society, it's difficult to gain entry in an alternative field as a "mature" employee. Should you just wish to switch companies, it can be equally hard to find viable employment in an area that you already have experience in.
