With a baby that we thought was finally well following bowel surgery, we sat back and enjoyed our days free from an incessantly crying baby. The surgery had corrected previously unpleasant symptoms that made our baby cry day and night.
He was 8 weeks old, we felt we had been robbed as parents of peaceful times with a precious new baby. That was just the start of our problems.
Having thanked and praised the surgical staff for giving us “a new baby,” alarm bells began to ring when his incessant crying came back with a vengeance.
We were devastated that he had gone through such a large and risky operation, when as it appeared he had reverted back.
At 6 o’clock every evening baby Oliver would turn from angelic little boy, to screaming banshee. The change was bizarre, and we could find no reasonable explanation for this.
He would cry sometimes non-stop, for hours on end. For us as parents it was distressing to see him in pain, and very tiring to cope with, when we were totally unable to pacify him.
When I think back, his symptoms were classic. Screaming, usually in the evening, drawing his legs up as if in pain. With each episode ending as abruptly as it started.
We were totally beside ourselves about what to do to survive, and put a stop to these awful episodes.
Our older son would be forced to go to bed early, so that he could get some peace and quiet, and as a couple we would find ourselves automatically increasing the volume of the television as if it were part of a habit we had got used to.
All the time the disruption continued, our baby appeared to suffer hours on end of pain and suffering.
Obtaining a diagnosis
I had heard of ‘colic,’ but always assumed it to be something as trivial, and easy to treat as nappy rash.
I took it upon myself to go trawling the trusty world wide web for possible solutions. It soon became apparent that Oliver was suffering a good old fashioned case of colic.
Frustratingly, no matter how many articles I read, there amazingly seemed to be no definite treatment or cure for this awful condition.
We tried absolutely everything suggested from warm lavender baths, to administering drops such as ‘Infacol’ and ‘Dentinox’ (yes I was desperate enough to try both), we even spent a fortune on purchasing the ‘Dr Brown’s’ anti-colic feeding bottles, but it was an expense I was quite happy to sacrifice if it actually worked!
None of those suggestions seemed to make a blind bit of difference, so we then went from the sublime to the ridiculous by purchasing a ‘white noise’ C.D, which to explain is simply a recording of noises such as vacuum cleaners, tumble driers and industrial equipment, which apparently are supposed to be soothing to a baby.
Comically, the noise was so unbearable, we couldn’t subject ourselves to it, let alone the baby. And so we had pretty much exhausted all the options available to us.
I then went about joining ‘mum’s’ blogsites, putting my desperate plea out to a group of well-seasoned mum’s, hoping that someone would offer me the miracle cure.
Again this was simply met by repetition of already tried treatments, and other equally frustrated mum’s asking the same question.
Coping strategies
We decided that rather than strive fruitlessly to find a cure for colic, we would hatch a plan to survive the duration of the problem instead.
We already knew that Oliver could suffer it up to 16 weeks, so we were in for a long haul ride, and we had to just accept that.
I once heard a mother talk of how she used to spend a lot of time at the end of her garden when her child had colic. At the time I didn’t quite understand the relevance of this comment, but when I found myself walking to the end of our very long garden, while Oliver screamed the house down indoors, I could absolutely see her point.
Sometimes it is best to simply allow the baby to cry, without trying to soothe them (this rarely works anyway), and by putting them safely in their cot, and allowing them to cry themselves to sleep, as cruel as it sounds, it is practically one of the best things you can do.
Sharing the responsibility is essential also. Get a break from the baby, after all evenings are the time when life still needs to carry on, such as preparing a meal, making school lunches and carrying out general domestic chores.
Take it in turns to bathe, cuddle, and generally care for the baby. When coping with a ‘colicky baby’ there is an immense feeling of frustration, exhaustion and sadness when there is nothing that can be done to get your happy baby back, so sharing this pressure does help very much.
