The other day at work one of my co-workers told me there was donuts upstairs in the break room. My initial reaction was joy, ( who doesn't like donuts?), but then it was turned into guilt because I'm trying to eat healthier. On the other hand, I didn't refuse her proposal that she would bring me back one after her break. She brought me back a glazed donut wrapped in a paper towel, and she warned me the date on the box had been a little old.
“Oh so they're stale?” I replied, kind of relieved that I didn't have to eat them, because stale donuts just don't cut it.
“ Yeah the date on them was June 20 th ” She told me, which would make this wonderful occasion two weeks too late to be eating donuts.
Not hungry anymore I was about to throw away the donut when I caught a glimpse of it. There in the middle of what used to be glazed goodness, was a furry slight green substance growing along its surface. Not only was I amazed to see mold on a donut, my next thought was who brings in moldy donuts? Was this person blind to the fact that their 2 week old donuts were growing mold, or were they really trying to poison everybody at work? And soon this got me thinking about bigger things like, what happens if I eat mold? How much mold could I eat? Would I die ? Should I give the donuts to my boss? I then began thinking about all the other kinds of fungus and bacteria that grows on this planet, and I came up with a list of the most unpleasant fungi and bacteria infections this earth has to offer. (If moldy donuts wasn't enough.)
Athletes Foot
Anyone care for a foot massage? This certain type of fungus is found between a persons toes, which is caused by a mold that grows on the surface of the skin and then into the living skin tissue. Thank god men mostly suffer from this infection, because we women value our pedicures!
Ring Worm
This parasitic fungi leaves the skin with a present of brown patchy circles, and no it's not really a worm. “Unattractive Brown Circles” works for me, but I guess that's not too catchy. The people who named this infection decided to fool people by throwing in the “worm”. Those tricky bastards.
Oral Candidiasis
This is what happens when yeast attacks the mucous membranes inside your mouth. Newborn babies, pregnant women, smokers, people with aids, diabetes, and denture offenders are all at risk to this infection. (So that narrows it down to everyone on this planet.) It just makes me want to kiss a complete stranger. (Not Really.)
Zygomycosis
Think twice before you become a farmer. This infectious fungi is found in decaying vegetation and soil. It usually spreads through the sinuses, which then can lead to infections in the face, brain, and lungs. It can be life threatening if not treated. I don't know about you, but if I had a pregnant sty on my eye I would definitely get it treated.
This concludes the lesson on fungi and bacteria. Who knew science could be so much fun? Obvious runner ups for unpleasant bacteria or fungi infections: AIDS, Yeast Infections, Urinary Tract Infection, any sexual transmitted disease. (The truth is, I couldn't find any PG 13 pictures for those.) Have a great day, and have a donut on me! (But make sure there's no mold.)
