But when my web searches kept bringing up ADD sites, I finally gave in and took a closer look. What I found absolutely floored me. Through assessments on various sites, I came to the realization that my beautiful baby girl had ADD. I was relieved that I had found a cause for her behavior, and that we would be able to move forward with treatment and everything would be calm again. However, in reading further, I was startled and amazed to realize that I, too had ADD.
I was hooked. Of course I went overboard on the initial research. I searched out every website and blog I could find. I bought dozens of books on the subject. Finally I was ready to get my daughter and myself the help we needed. Even after all that I had read, I was not prepared for the let down of how hard it was to actually get someone to listen, and then to help.
I was numb with disappointment and frustration by the end of the process. Multiple professionals and several medication choices later, I was done. My daughter was and is doing very well on her medication. She is excelling in school, and her behavior is great. However, we still have to go back to the doctor every month for a prescription refill, due to the fact that it is a controlled substance, and refills are not permitted. The only ADD professionals we could find are located in another city, so it's quite an ordeal to get this accomplished. We often run out of medicine before I have a chance to get to the clinic.
On the other hand, my personal experience with medication was frustrating to the point of tears. I finally gave up on finding any magic pill to take my nuttiness away. Eventually I determined that I was a valuable person just the way I am, and that I was smart. Forget about the elaborate organization systems. I could come up with something simple and easy to use. If I kept it in constant sight, I would remember it. I'd enlist my kids' help in the process.
Slowly, but surely, I am emerging from the darkness of the past 40 years. I am mentally healthier than I can ever remember being. I still struggle with the day to day demands of life, but I also rejoice in my unique ability to brainstorm and imagine solutions to work problems. I have so many interests that I am never bored. I am no longer depressed. Life is good.
