As far as I can be certain, it all began in October, 2000. I say as well as I can be certain because even though the word “traumatic” implies some sudden and terrible injury to the brain, some of this damage can happen subtlety over time, having its cumulative effect sum to a traumatic injury, not in the sense that it is sudden but that it is severe. I have learned that there were emotional and behavioral changes taking place long before, but I was unaware of them at the time and even now, it is only upon reflection and with the perfection that hindsight allows that the people closest to me realize the link between these changes and some physical malady I was experiencing. It was only when I began to have the visual abnormalities that we all realized that there was something happening.
But, just exactly what, of course, no one could be sure. At the time, I worked as a computer technician, and, as it is not uncommon for people in that profession to experience vision difficulties, I was willing to credit the whole episode to work-related eye stress. So, the next natural step, I thought was to visit an optometrist My employer had an arrangement with an optician to provide employees with safety frames, since safety glasses were required on the factory floor. This optician worked closely with a particular optometrist, so I made an appointment with this doctor. He concurred with my suspicion of eye stress and prescribed glasses with prism correction lenses. The prism in the lens is designed to pull the eye back to a focal position to eliminate the double vision I experienced. It wasn't double vision, actually, but more than that, like looking through the facets of a cut crystal wine glass, similar to what I would imagine the compound vision of a housefly is like.
The glasses helped for a short time, but I still had to turn my head at odd angles to straighten out my vision. When you find the correct angle, all of the different images converge into one. My doctor said this spot is called the "null point". My brother said the process made me look like a chicken.
This continued on for several months until, in April of 2001, I learned that I would lose my job as part of a far-reaching corporate-wide Reduction In Force, the feared riffing. After being told the news by the human resources manager, I left and strove to find my wife, Sharon, where she was working with our friend, Gayla, in her business of decorating mobile homes. They would go on mobile home lots and decorate homes to give them that warm, homey feel to help prospective buyers feel as though they could see themselves living in the home. After telling her the news, I left to go bpick up our son, Taylor, from school. We had planned a family trip to the circus that night. I had assured Sharon that with the severance I would receive and potential unemployment benefits, there was no need for us to skip this family outing. In fact, an evening at the circus may be just the thing to help us with the concern and worry we naturally felt. It is not so much the events that occur in a person's life but how the person chooses to respond to these events that defines one's character, and, often, sets in motion the ultimate outcome. Of course, when I lost my job, my family lost their health insurance benefits. I also lost any life insurance coverage I had. With the risk of the seeming apparent omnipresent accidental death too great, I decided to try to buy some life insurance from one of the national carriers with local representatives.
Of course, as part of the insurance application, I had a blood test. Completely to my surprise, my blood sugar tested high and I was refused coverage. I had never had high blood sugar before. This was around June or July of 2001. after this point, I spent the majority of my time looking for a new job and going to interviews when I could arrange them. I also spent a good amount of time in fear. With no job and no prospects, I began to fear that I would not be able to contribute to my family. Little did I realize that I didn't really understand what fear was, and that I would learn. As the summer wore on, I began considering jobs far afield from my professional experience and positions that I knew would not pay the salary I had received, but anything that would contribute and help relieve the burden that had fallen on my wife.
