In 2005, My Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has been cancer free for a year and a half now .The following is what she told me she learned. She asked me to publish it somewhere, with the hope that it might help someone else.
- Do monthly breast exams and have mammograms as your doctor recommends, especially if you have a family history of breast cancer on either side of your family! Your gene pool consists of a lot more than just your mom. The earlier cancer is found, the easier it is to treat.
- Once you have been diagnosed, do research, research, and more research. The more you know ,the easier it will be to make an intelligent decision about your own treatment.
- Think Positive! Yes, it is hard to hear the words, “You have Cancer.” Treatment can be hard on you, but if you have the attitude- I HAVE CANCER, CANCER DOESN'T HAVE ME!, it will help you a lot. After observing so many with a negative attitude, it seemed to me that I got through it a lot easier than they did.
- If you think your doctor is a jerk, he (or she) probably is. Find a doctor you like, someone who will talk to you, not at you, and is willing to spend time answering your questions and explaining why they want to do the treatment program they have recommended . Also, it never hurts to bring another set of ears to your appointments. I brought my daughter. She came up with many questions I would not have thought to ask. Remember, the doctor works for you, not the other way around.
- Talk to your family and friends. You probably have a lot more support than you think.
- Let your family and friends help with cooking and cleaning and other chores. You will both feel better about it.
- Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help if you need it.
- Grab hold of your sense of humor with both hands, and hang on tight. If you can laugh at yourself, or make someone else laugh, you will feel better. I once told a nurse that I'd taken my shirt off in front of so many people without getting dinner first, that I was beginning to feel like a cheap date. She laughed for ten minutes. I felt better for the rest of the day. Apparently, even cancer doesn't like being laughed at.
- Try to carry on with your life as much as possible, or take up a new hobby. I took up sewing and found something I love to do.
- If complaining or crying makes you feel better, do it. Personally, I found that complaining, feeling sorry for myself or asking, “Why me?”, only made me feel worse and didn't help the situation at all.
- If you feel up to it, do things with your family that you always wanted to do, but never got around to.
- Think of it as the chance to get the breasts you always wanted, and now insurance has to pay for it!
- While implants work for most women, they didn't work for me. I had other complications that would not allow the use of implants. I had a bilateral radical modified mastectomy, and I use prosthesis. My situation is actually pretty rare.
More Things You Should Know
Prosthesis now are so advanced, tha unless I tell someone I wear them, they can't tell the difference. They bounce, wiggle look, and feel like real breasts. The nice part is, I can take them off when it's hot outside.
When they warn you that your hair is going to fall out from chemotherapy, they mean ALL of it- body hair, too. I did not miss shaving.
When I went wig shopping, I tried several styles and colors that I never would have had the nerve to otherwise.
This experience made me appreciate life more, enjoy my grandchildren more, and really made me want to fight to watch them grow up and graduate high school. My daughter did not have any of her grandparents at her graduation, and she really wants me to be there for her children.
To the Families of Cancer Patients
If your family member or friend has cancer or another serious illness, just be there. If they need to laugh, cry complain, or vent, Be There! My sisters, who all live in different states, called almost every week to see how I was, and let me vent. It helped tremendously.
Whether they admit it or not, your loved one needs your support. Being there will make your relationship with them that much stronger.
If you are a man whose wife is dealing with breast cancer, remind her often that you married her because you love her, not for her hair or breasts. Hug her often, call during the day just see how she is feeling, and let her know you are still attracted to her. If you follow this advice, and hang in there, your marriage will be far stronger because you did. Now is when she needs you the most.
I hope this will help someone dealing with a serious illness. If it helps just one person, it will have been worth it to me to bare these things that are so personal to everyone.
Good Luck to any who are fighting a serious illness or will fight one in the future.
