In Understanding Bipolar Disorder for Kids Part One, we discussed who should talk to your children, when to talk to your children, and using the correct language when discussing mental illness. The next step in helping your child understand what is happening is how to talk to them. Finding the right words to discuss bipolar disorder I find is one of the most challenge thoughts in talking to your child, but thinking about what you are going to say and how you are going to answer questions before you begin will help you to be prepared. It is best to talk to each one of your children separately so you can address them in age appropriate ways. You will talk to a child who is five or six differently than you would a child you is nine or ten years old because they are at different stages of their lives.
Preschoolers will need a lot of reassurance that they are safe and loved. Also they will need simple explanations to explain how you feel. These explanations should be compared to situations they are familiar with. One way to accomplish this is by reminding them of how they feel when their tummy is upset or their head hurts. Follow this with telling them your illness makes you feel sick just like them. Explain how you have to see the doctor and take medicine to help you feel better. Be sure to also tell them you might have to go to the hospital to get better because you don't want it to be a surprise. Other suggestions are books, stories, and drawing pictures to help you explain.
School age children need straight forward answers at their own level. They are able at this age to share their feelings and talk about your feelings. Encourage children at any age to share their feelings is help promote open communication not only about your illness but other areas of their lives too. They will also need straight forward answers to what will happen to them and you if you become ill. You can begin your conversation with saying I have a illness called Bipolar disorder. Following this with explaining how you feel very tired, sad, or confused at times and reminding them how much you love them and want to take care of them. Talk to them about the doctor giving you medicine to help you feel better. Also be sure to talk to them about the possibility of having to go to the hospital which opens the door for developing a care plan discussed in part one. They are old enough at this time to help you write a care plan for them if something where to happen.
Having a teenager is difficult as it is and often likes to talk when they are ready to talk. All the encouragement to discuss their feeling and your feelings hopefully have opened the door to feeling comfortable with open communication. Remind them how much you love them and they can come to you at anytime to talk will continue to encourage open communication. It is also healthy for a teenager to have another trusted adult to talk to such as a teacher, coach, or a relative in their lives.
As different age groups offer different way to talk to your child, but all ages are curious and asking questions is natural. Encouraging and answering their questions as honestly as you can. If you are unable to answer their question, be honest and tell them you don't know, but you will find out for them. Also, always be sure to remind them your illness isn't their fault or their responsibility. Loving and supporting you is all you need to help you get better.
