When my son was born, back in the 1970s, not much was known about autism. As a mother, who already had 2 children, all I knew was this one was different. He was a very good baby, he ate well, put on weight, and rarely cried. In fact, the only time he cried, was when I picked him up. He was quite happy to lay in his pram for hours, and if I dared to disturb his peace, he really told me off!
At the time I didn't understand. I felt rejected, and I thought my baby didn't love me. I just wish someone could have explained to me, but it was several months before I took him to the doctor, as at nine months, he still wasn't sitting up. Then came endless tests and hospital visits. He was given therapy and massage to help him walk, and he absolutely hated this, as he couldn't bear to be touched. It broke my heart to see him in such distress, and I really thought he must be in pain!
Eventually the hospital decided that it wasn't helping him, and they abandoned their efforts. Philip, had by then learnt to smile, and respond a lttle to me, although he wasn't able to talk. This made up my mind, as his mother, it was down to me. I had to help my son.
I must say it wasn't easy. I worked with him every day, and eventually his protests became less. He was now 2 years old, and was then diagnosed as autistic. His development was not helped by the fact that his health was poor. He suffered from athsma and excema, then anorexia, and I lost count of the many times he was rushed to hospital in an emergency situation. The doctor shook his head with anxiety, and warned me my little boy might not live beyond the age of 5.
But the doctor was wrong. Philip took his first steps at the age of 5, and I felt so proud! I just cannot put into words what the sight of him tottering towards me that first time, meant!As he grew older, his health improved dramatically. As anyone with a disabled child will know, I fought long and hard to get him the best care possible, as autistic children have very special needs. He went to a school for children with disabilities, where he was loved and cared for by the staff. I couldn't fault them at all.
Because Philip also had learning difficulties as well as autism, I knew he would never be able to lead an independent life. When he became a teenager, life got really difficult because all the hormonal changes, which he didn't understand, affected his behaviour. Although he has never been able to speak, Philip understands everything we say to him, and the frustration of not being able to reply to us, also caused his behaviour to be aggressive. When a small child has a tantrum, it is easy to be in control, but when that person who is angry is as big as you are , and very strong, it can be quite frightening.
Now let me say to all the families out there, don't give up hope, keep smiling, and help your child as much as you can. I found having a sense of humour kept me and the rest of the family going. As for Philip. he left home at the age of 19 to live in a loving environment, with 2 other autistic young men like himself, who can speak, and they treat him like their brother. The staff are kind and patient, and love him to bits.
I haven't forgotten how bleak life was at times, even though I had the full support of my family. I just felt no-one understood. If you look at the picture of my brave son, who has fought all his illnesses and disabilities, and is now 37 years old, you will see an unsung hero. His bravery and determination not to give up on life has inspired me, and I hope it will also inspire others!
