Do you feel you set yourself up for disappointment whenever you set a goal for yourself? Do you feel like someone's on your back, cracking the whip and breathing down your neck?
Does this prevent you from even bothering?
Many people respond extremely well to goal setting. I say “Good for them!” However, for whatever reason, some people see goals as impossible dreams. They see others attaining their objectives and feeling great about themselves, and wonder why they can't do it too.
“I could aim to lose five kilos, reach a two kilo weight loss and be proud of myself, then miss the five kilo aim in a reasonable amount of time, and I'll totally feel like I've failed,” says Karen, a 32-year-old accountant. “What I realise I should have done, is aim for a two kilo loss then a second two kilo loss, and so on.”
Karen is not unusual in how she sets targets that seem miniscule by comparison to those of her peers.
Jennifer, 29 and a mother of three primary school children, is another example of goal setting missing its mark. “I'm tired of always feeling inadequate, feeling like I can't do what I set out to do. I love going to the gym, really love it, but any time someone asks me how I'm going, I have to say that I've given up weighing myself in case I'm not happy with what the scales say. Then they give up on me!”
Losing weight, toning up and improving our general health should be lifelong commitments, not things that rear their ugly heads now and then and expect us to feel proud of ourselves, then rest on our laurels again.
Do you enjoy working out? Why? If you've ever experienced an endorphin rush, you'll know that a good, hard workout brings its own rewards. You'll find yourself in a brilliant mood, full of energy and feeling on top of the world. Endorphins are the feel-good chemicals in our bodies. They're what's squirted around our body to let us know we're alive and doing well.
Does a long, leisurely walk improve your state of mind? Simply removing yourself from the chaotic atmosphere of a busy home and boisterous kids (as much as you love them!) or from a stressful office environment is bound to pep up your mood.
If your aim is to lose weight, consider not weighing yourself, and instead, focus on how it will feel for your clothes to fit better. Weight is a number. Dress size is a number. Your hip, thigh and bust measurements … all numbers. Numbers intimidate! Cast your mind back to when you were a few sizes smaller, and then to when you first had to start buying the next size up. Chances are, it horrified you. Multiply that self-disgust by the number of sizes to which your body has expanded, and is it any wonder that it seems like such a tremendous task to slim down?
In a world of low fat, high fiber, lite "n" creamy, salt reduced jargon, it's time to cut the fat, and I mean, lose the messages you're feeding on and create a philosophy that works for you.
No Goals, Just Go!
If it works for you, excellent, if it doesn't, stick to what does.
But without a short term or long term goal, you take your efforts in your own stride. You're working towards a future, towards feeling better over the long haul. You will notice differences, you will experience positive changes and you will suffer less!
Resist telling people that you're on a path to wellness.
Do it for yourself. Ask for advice or support from people you know will have your best interests at heart. If someone comments that you're looking different, thank him or her and change the subject. Protect yourself; turn yourself into a bubble of pride that deflects negativity simply by refusing to entertain it. Within the bubble is the knowledge that you're doing whatever you're doing for yourself and your own health … day-by-day, step-by-step, meal-by-meal. You'll see that you'll eat more healthfully so as not to undermine the efforts you're making with your exercise. And you'll exercise to feel satisfied with your efforts, knowing that they'll make a difference to your body shape, your appearance, your state of mind and yes, your dress size.
If walking is your thing, do it!
If resistance training is what you enjoy, do that! When you're overweight and feeling less than fantastic about yourself, the best commencement remedy is to do what will keep you coming back for more. The surest path to failure is to repeatedly punish yourself. Not only will you resent it, but also you'll avoid it and ultimately refuse to do it. Life is to be enjoyed. Unless you've been a lifelong exerciser, anything is better than nothing! Walking around your backyard is better than sitting in front of the TV. Climbing the stairs for 20 minutes is better than saying, “It's raining, and I can't walk today.” Turning up at the local gym and wishing you were the skinniest person there won't make you the skinniest person there, but it is better than doing zero exercise. Stick to that bubble and remember that the person inside it is ready, willing and able to do something about that which has made her feel less than her best.
No goals, just go! So simple, so anti- the way we've been trained to believe. Sometimes a bit of rebellion can be very, very cool!
