One of the most severe dangers facing mankind today, aside from global warming and gambling on the web, is erectile dysfunction. Take me for example. I never had any problems below the belt. I mean my own belt. I did have problems below other people's belts, if you know what I mean. This was true until one day my friend Dick told me
"You know, Ben, the older I get, the stronger I become."
"Oh, yes?" I asked.
So he told me
"Yeh," he said. When I was young I could not bend it, no matter what, and it caused me a lot of problems. For example, on a bus, whenever a lady came in and I, due to my good manners, wanted to get up and give her my seat, I could not do it and instead I had to offer her to sit on my knees. I spent most of my youth asking myself how can I shrink it. I tried many tricks. Once I tried to tie it to my leg, but then it fell asleep and it took me hours to wake it up."
"And is it different now?" I asked.
"Oh yeh," he said. "Now I have no problem bending it at all. It's quite easy."
"It must be those daily exercises you're having" I said.
"Yes," Dick said "I think so, or maybe it's the steroids"
"You're taking steroids?" I asked.
"Doesn't everyone?" he said "and you see? It works, even though I didn't break any record yet. The only medicine I am careful with is Viagra."
"Oh, yes? and why is that?" I asked.
"Because" Dick said "with Viagra there is a serious danger that you will have an erection lasting four hours or more, and this is so dangerous that you have to call
your doctor immediately. They even said so on TV."
"Yes," I had to agree and I reminded him "and you should also avoid taking it if you are pregnant or expecting to get pregnant."
"Oh, yes" he smiled "but we are trying to avoid this anyhow, if you know what I mean."
As soon as Dick left I decided to test my own strength - I tried to bend mine and indeed it was surprisingly easy. There was one conundrum ,though - I do not exercise like Dick does and I don't take steroids, so where did all this extra strength come from?
At about the same time I noticed a drop in my sexual activity, if you excuse the expression, and I decided to consult my doctor. To my surprise he was available. I scheduled an appointment and just a month and a half later I went to see him.
"Well," he said "what seems to be the problem?"
"The problem seems to be that in spite of my increased strength there is a drop in my sexual activity." I said. He became very concerned and said
"Yes, this is a serious problem indeed. How often do you have sex, may I ask?"
"About twice a month," I said.
" Hm," he said "and how old are you?"
"Seventy three" I said.
"Oh," he was relieved now "at seventy three this is quite normal. It depends on your age, you know."
"But my friend Dick is three years older than me and he claims that he is having sex three times a week," I said.
The doctor thought for a moment and then said "You know what?"
"What?" I asked.
"Start claiming so too." he said, and this is how my erectile dysfunction was finally cured.
