Reams & reams have been written about Anger Management by psychologists & doctors. When you say that anger has to be managed, it means that it has to be contained & channelized - there can not be an overt expression of anger. In other words, it is looked upon as a negative emotion & denied its intrinsic importance.
What is Anger?
I want something, I am not getting it & I assert myself to get it. Anger is important in life & necessary if we learn how to use it fully. As children, we are not permitted to show anger, & parents & teachers in a way, help to suppress this emotion & to put on a facade of self control. Instead of crushing the child's anger, it would be wiser to teach him that anger is healthy as it helps to get in touch with ourselves, our energy, & the churning of feelings inside which can be used constructively. If you go after your wants, big or small, important or otherwise then you express anger. There are many different ways of expressing anger & it can change with each occasion. We can stamp our feet, shout & curse or even actually hit someone. When you express anger, you must also be ready to admit being wrong-thus vulnerability is an integral part of anger.
Anger is also a contacting emotion. If we are ready to stay with the interaction until it is worked out, then anger will lead us to deepen our relationship. This means that we are ready to listen, ready to change, ready to admit our mistakes while holding on to our ideas until we see something different. Learning must follow from one's experiences. Anger is an energy we use, to go after our goals. It is a basic emotion like sex, joy & grief. The World would be a mundane place without this energy, & if we do not learn to express anger, we are not in touch with ourselves & not in contact with a source of strength deep within us, so I say its ok to be angry.
