What is Bi-Polar disorder? Perhaps you are more familiar with the term manic depression? That is the same disease. It is actually an illness made up of two disorders. It is instigated by a chemical inbalance. It manifests itself in what is called cycles. You bounce back and forth from a manic person able to conquer the world to a depressed soul in the depths of hell. There is no set pattern of how long or how many cycles you will be asked to survive.
These things occur regardless of what is happening in life. You may have found 10 million dollars or lost your puppy and it will not determine if you are manic (excited) or depressed. Although joyful or stressful moments can buffer or enhance the cycle somewhat.
Overall the moment by moment struggle to stay focused is the biggest challenge. It is like you are living two lives at once. The life you live along with the rest of humanity and the inner three ring circus life within. And you actually have a better control of the life we are expected to live. However you are so beaten down from within you hardly have the presence of mind to even recognize what is going on around you.
That is a basic explanation of this sickness. It is important to mention that some cases are worse than others. Like any illness it varies from person to person. Take diabetes for example. Each diabetic is different to some degree. The same is true with Bi-Polar sufferers.
Let me state up front that regardless of our mental state, there is no excuse for wrongdoing. Harming others or yourself in any way does not have to be contingent on ones health.
Why is it hard to near impossible for the average person to understand what it is like to be bi-polar? How is it any different than the problems faced by everyone else?
No Question every person faces trials and obstacles in life. Every one has good times and bad times. However this disease goes well beyond the norm. Of course bi-polar disorder is not exclusively the only debilitating disease around. However most people are unaware of how serious it is. If you see a person in a wheel chair you don't have to discern the difficulties as much as you do with a person who appears basically healthy.
So picture it like this. Let's say that life is like driving from New York City to Los Angeles in your car. Planning such a trip would present the same concerns for everyone. Some things may vary from one person to another. Let's assume in all cases though, this is a solo undertaking.
So at first glance you would conclude that everyone could make the drive with the same ebb and flow of ups and downs. Everyone would have their quiet moments, traffic jam moments, stopping for gas and food moments, sightseeing and potential breakdowns or getting lost.
Here is the difference. Being bi-polar puts unusual and absurd conditions on you that a "normal" person would never encounter. Take the same trip and imagine that in addition to the average list of concerns you also had to stop every 10 miles because your mind / body demands it? It comes with the disease. You can not will it away, you have to deal with it 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. There are no quiet times.
That changes the whole trip doesn't it? Try and picture the drain physically and mentally those frequent stops would add to someone? And realize that to someone bi-polar you must concede to these demands and even you don't know why.
Or consider this. Let us say that life is like kayaking on a river. Everyone has felt at times like they were heading up stream at times. Or sometimes caught in the rapids. Or other times rowing along at a comfortable and enjoyable pace.
For the Bi-polar person your kayak is being pulled toward Niagara Falls and you are content with just getting the kayak to stay in one place. Yes progress to you is not getting any closer to the falls.
Or imagine life is like hiking up a mountain. Varied conditioning and variables face anyone doing this. The same would be for someone bi-polar. Only we are making the same hike with a piano welded to our back. A piano you don't see. A piano we didn't ask for. A piano that is not ever coming off of our back.
The bi-polar condition is molecularly thrust upon you. Although there are various traumatic events that can bring on this condition or worsen it, it is a result of a chemical imbalance. Medicine does not cure you no more than insulin cures a diabetic. Fortunately medicine can help lesson the severity of the symptons.
Hopefully this begins to shed a little light on the unusual demand that this insidious malady overwhelms its victims with. Maybe you will understand the insufferable assault we have to withstand and endure. Maybe you will also realize we try very hard to not make our problem yours.
I would like to conclude also by saying I sincerely feel the deepest empathy for those who have a crippling disease that causes you to suffer in a somewhat similar fashion. I really do understand. Keep up the fight! You are not alone.
