My young daughter cautiously crept from her bedroom, then announced, “Mommy, I can't sleep!” I ushered her back to bed. “Why can't you sleep, honey?” I asked. She told me that her mind kept thinking and wouldn't slow down. She wasn't able to tell me exactly what was causing such a disturbance in her life, though. “Well,” I answered. “Let's try something new. Make me a list of everything that you are thankful for.” She started her litany with a quick recitation of the obvious: family, friends, favorite foods….
Stress in our own lives is difficult to deal with, but it's even harder to help a young child learn positive ways to relax. The children often cannot articulate what is bothering them, and may not even know themselves. They only show signs of stress: irritability, disrupted sleep, fidgeting, crying, or changes to eating habits, among other things. Many adults even have difficulty identifying the source of their stress, and just know that they “feel bad.” This nameless, nebulous anxiety can be most difficult to deal with. We are taught that action is the solution to stress, and a person simply can't form a plan of action against feelings that are so vague. We can't make a plan, solve the problem, or affect the situation in any way right at that moment.
When stress threatens to overwhelm me, when I can't get my mind to slow down enough to allow sleep, when upsetting events replay again and again in my overloaded brain, I find relief by counting blessings. Consciously turning thoughts to the pleasant and the uplifting takes great concentration at first, and more than a little practice, but the effort is worthwhile. Thinking in such a positive way seems to build on itself and turn the tide of stress, even at night when all is quiet and worries can loom large and seem absolutely intractable.
It causes a shift in perspective, too. Few troubles are so huge that they can't be counterbalanced by enough positive thoughts. Whether you choose to think of blessings from friends, material abundance, personal circumstances, or beloved family members, most people will find their lives to be incredibly rich. The blessings are simply too numerous to count, as my daughter found…
“I'm thankful for my house, my room, and my pioneer doll,” she intoned. “I'm glad I had pizza for supper and that I got to eat dessert.” There was a long silence, then, “I'm thankful for getting to visit Grandma and Grandpa this summer.” Another silence, even longer, as she thought. “I'm thankful for my treehouse and for horses.” Her breathing deepened and slowed as she thought and thought of other blessings in her life. I tiptoed out of her bedroom and left her to her dreams.
