So often in our society, particularly in the American culture, we have a hurried pace and an unrealistic routine affixed to a rigid schedule. There are countless demands placed on us and additional demands we may place on ourselves. We try to fit a great number of activities into each day. There is so much pressure in society today to be productivity-driven and this is often at the expense of our own health. We ignore the illnesses and fatigue to keep moving along, to get more work done, to try and make more money, to reach some goal. Our life becomes centered around productivity.
Anything that interferes with our productivity is considered, at least in some circles, to be "obstacles" to performance. These obstacles might be anything from a family concert at the town auditorium to a weekend getaway trip to our favorite bed and breakfast inn. Worse still, there isn't much tolerance for excuses. Regardless of their validity, excuses are usually criticized and rarely empathized with. The expectations are too high and so people get labeled. Labeling people negates their value by limiting the perception of their worth according to subjective standards. Unfortunately, somewhere in that gray matter between our ears, we form judgments about our environments with or without conscience consent.
In the corporate world, there is some presumption today that everyone should put in overtime and give "extra" effort. This translates to working for free in our offtime to show we are "dedicated" and a "team player". In reality, it's a control technique. Also, it shows executives that people are docile little sheep that can be pushed around. Did I miss the memo? When did the full-time workweek turn into a mandatory 50+ hours?
The danger with all this high-pressure, productivity-oriented mentality in our society is it puts our brains and bodies into high gear from sunrise to way past sunset. We get caught up believing everything on our list needs to get done today. The activities, events, meetings, sales presentations, taking the kids to school, going to the doctor, carpooling the soccer team to practice...the list is endless.
The problem is these activities are all stressors. Even the most benign, pleasant, or light-duty tasks involve us meeting an expectation. Some person or group needs us to do "this" - whatever that is. Expectations involve responsibilities and timetables. When we cannot possibly meet every expectation, we create stress for ourselves. The activities become heavy burdens and this begins the stress.
Stress is highly psychological but it is also physiological. We realize that we cannot get everything accomplished. It may or may not bother us personally depending on certain variables like our personality, work ethic or time constraints. However, most stressors come from external places, from people demanding more from us than we can produce. This drives up our internal tolerance "thermometer" to the red line. We will eventually get both mentally and emotionally exhausted. It's a matter of time when our minds will inevitably hit the threshold for productivity. When we reach that point, the mind shuts down the body. The physiological reality of stress is illness, maladies, and even ongoing medical conditions.
Take all the stress from all the activities, pressures, missed deadlines, angry bosses, complaining customers, family needs lapsing, personal needs lapsing - you build enormous amounts of anxiety.
How do we become anxious? Unresolved stress levels building up and past our tolerance.
We become anxiety to dispose of our stress. If anxiety builds for too long, with no resolution in sight, then the first stages of depression begin. The degree of depression can be amplified by the effect of frustrations or disappointments in our daily lives, such as money problems, medical procedure or a car accident, a loss of job - all these stressors build up anxiety.
Stress can lead to anxiety. Anxiety can lead to stress. We don't want to deal with the problems. We want them to go away. We are anxious to rid our lives of problems. When we cannot, depression takes root in our souls. It can paralyze us from living a normal life.
The good news is we can overcome this diabolical problem.
First, you need to understand that depression and anxiety are two sides of the same coin. If you have one condition, you probably have the other. Second, you need to understand that stress feeds anxiety and vice versa. Third, you need to realize that the solution begins with addressing the stressors.
Stress is 90% Psychological
You need to realize that we tend to conjure up far worse circumstances in our minds of the outcomes (pre-meditated predictions) than, most often, the actual outcome turns out to be in reality. In other words, we usually cause ourselves mental anguish over nothing. You may encounter threatening tactics by people or organizations who want you on a chopping block, but this is most often like a dog's bark worse than his bite situations. Many times people are manipulating other people or situations to their advantage. Take due responsibility but never any guilt or pressure. There is no constructive rationale for using threats. There is also no rationale for using stress to motivate an outcome or reach some objective.
The key lies in preventing stress or anxiety before they escalate into depression.
Stress really should not be "managed" per se. It should (and can) be reduced or even eliminated by adhering to a more positive mindset, attitude, and set of principles. It will require lifestyle changes such as taking a 3-day weekend off more often. It will definitely include a prayer life. It will take time and effort but anyone can overcome depression. It takes inner strength because only you can pull yourself out from that pit. Not your doctor. Not a psychiatrist. Not a social worker. They may have the formal training to address the symptoms, but this battle is yours alone.
Again, it is psychological. We need to lower the bar, so to speak. We need to reduce the number and gravity of expectations to a reasonable level. Once we are working with reasonable expectations and goals, the stress goes way down and we have nothing left to cause us anxiety because we no longer have to figure out how to make everything "happen".
In the words of Jordan S. Rubin, N.M.D., Jordan says, "Patient Heal Thyself". I think those words are very appropriate for overcoming depression. You might want to get a copy of that book.
There is something to be said for the power of being positive. Positive thinking. Positive attitude. Positive mindset. Practicing self-affirmations. Sense of humor. Laugh at yourself. Utilize your strengths. Accept your weaknesses.
You can live a full life if you do not give yourself permission to be emptied.
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friendrich Nietzsche
