When I was eighteen years old I was diagnosed with chronic depression. A couple years later I was re-diagnosed as having bipolar two disorder. Which basically means I get mostly the depressive swing of the pendulum. In addition, something I and those who have to deal with me on a regular basis have found out, manic episodes do not always manifest themselves in a classic bouncing off the wall way. Mania can often be unwarranted anger. I have been on a plethora of prescription drugs and none worked for very long, if at all. Most made me feel sick or even more disconnected from everything around me than I already felt. It was awful.
In addition, I have horrible insomnia. I average three or four hours a night during the week, if I am lucky. On the weekends the lack of rest through out the week catches up a bit and I am more likely to get five or six hours slumber. I have learned, like a survivor in the evolutionary chain, to adapt to this sleep deprivation. I have chosen to ditch anti-depressants all together. Do not take this as an advocacy of discontinuing meds. If you have medication that is helping you and the side effects are tolerable, STAY ON THEM! Just because I do not feel they helped me, does not mean they do not help anyone. This article is for those who have given up the fight. It is for the ones who are immune to most medications. I can not even take regular over the counter pain killers. They do nothing for me, so I have learned to deal with migraines and minor to moderate pain. People like me who find no help in modern medicine need to learn some tricks to survive.
One such trick is down right hard headedness. Not allowing it to beat you. Think of your mood disorder as that one person in life that you are always competitive with. Everyone has one. There is always that one guy or girl you know who, no matter what they do, you have to best. There are many reasons, usually is it just because you hate them or view them as inferior to you. Remember, when it is at its worst, that it will go away. It is temporary. It will come back just to be temporary again. This one works the best for me. Good friends and a supportive family help as well, but it is very rare that I seek out anyone when I am at my worst. If you have that as a weapon against disease, by all means use it. I am sure it would be helpful to many.
Not a day goes by that I do not contemplate suicide at some point and sometimes I hear voices. But, I'm still here and I have been dealing with this since I was a little kid. I am now twenty five and once I was diagnosed and accepted it, life got a bit easier. That is my final survival tip. Do not ask why. Do not think that something is wrong but it can not possibly be that. Do not be that person in denial saying “I'm not crazy. Bipolar people are insane and I clearly am not.” Just accept it and deal with it. Face the beast. Look it directly in the eyes so you know what you are dealing with and let it know who it is dealing with. It is more easily handled that way. Besides, I do not think I have met a person yet that is not insane in some way. If I can do it so can you.
