Your boyfriend is talking about his work problems and you fight back the yawns. But when your best friends need to vent, you're all ears. Hmm... notice the difference?
You might not mean to, but taking your boyfriend for granted can lead to resentment, arguments and even a break-up. The solution? Relationships can be improved by learning from the way we treat our friends.
Here are the four best tips for you-and-him-happiness:
Have a Girly Night Out With Him
Think about what happens when you go out with the girls. You dress up and spend the night dissecting every single detail of each other's lives, jobs and families. Now, when did you last do that with your boyfriend? Sure, in the beginning you pulled out all the stops to look gorgeous and you couldn't get enough of hearing about his world.
But these days those long, deep chats over dinner have been replaced with slouchy nights on the coach where the only thing getting turned on is the TV.
If you stop making an effort - physically and emotionally - the relationship becomes stagnant instead of evolving. Show you're interested in him by going on a dinner date together once a week and discussing all the little things you've forgotten to ask him about.
Don't Be So Defensive
Got a job interview? You'll ask your best friend for her brutally honest opinion on your choice of outfit. Yet if your boyfriend was as blunt, you'd feel hurt that he's not supporting you. You're far more sensitive to partners' comments because his criticism seems a reflection on how he feels about you. Tell yourself he's only questioning your outfit, not you.
Give Him a Break
You've arranged to go for drinks with a friend, when she rings to say she's stuck at work and won't be there for half an hour. You respond with a relaxed ‘poor you! Meet me here - I'll get the drinks in'. Cut to the same scenario with your boyfriend, though, and you're fuming that he's left you waiting all alone at the bar!
You expect more from a boyfriend because you're in an intimate relationship with him, which makes you feel vulnerable - and your negative reaction shows a lack of trust. Try to show more empathy. Acknowledge his hassles instead of focusing on your own inconveniences and it wont go unnoticed.
Have Fun With Him
Before a night out with the girls, you love getting ready together, sharing wine and giggling over gossip. Ok, your man may be utterly gorgeous, but do the two of you have moments when you laugh so hard that you can't breathe? Laughing together is vital because it gives you release, and it is also very bonding.
I'm not suggesting his idea of a great date starts with a bottle of rose and the Sugababes cranked up, but you should still laugh together.
Bring yourselves closer by injecting some fun into your relationship. Swap funny childhood stories, go dancing or cook at home - anything you enjoy together.
