I stood there waiting with grass on my feet while the rain ruined my hair and make up that I had spent hours on trying to get perfect. Squadrons ran past me in perfect lines as I searched every face for one that I recognized. Anticipation was overwhelming and I was nervous and so excited at the same time. There he was. My heart started beating fast as I yelled out his name, but he kept running. He had to. For those few seconds that he ran past me, I felt like the happiest girl in the world.
The fourteen hour drive to Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio was worth those few seconds alone, but I couldn't help but squirm in my seat waiting for him to show up again. The only thing standing in my way was the rain. On the account of lightning that was seen in a distant country they were grounded to wait it out. At least that is how I looked at it. I was stuck waiting to see him again. Waiting. One delay after another occurred until they finally called his squadron number. He was coming. I wanted to run, but I couldn't get past the hundreds of people waiting to see their own Airman, so I impatiently followed everyone outside.
There he was. Again. Standing tall in his blue uniform looking so strong and handsome. The same as I remember him, only a little different at the same time. A little more clean shaven. But it was him. Surrounded by his family, he greeted all of them with open arms and smiles. I watched his every move. I watched him smile the biggest smile, I watched him embrace his mother and father patiently. And then he looked at me. I had a huge smile on my face and glossy eyes. He held out his arms and I buried myself into them. The smell, the touch, the warmth… I knew seeing him was breath taking but being in his arms again was like a little girl with her first blanket. I didn't want to let him go.
Three months prior, we had gotten into an argument that left us without speaking. I tried to talk to him but his stubbornness shined through and he ignored my protests and sincere apologies. He left for basic training for the U.S. Air Force about a month later without a goodbye. His mom gave me his address and I wrote him a letter as soon as I got it to tell him how much I missed him and how proud of him I was. He wrote me two letters back telling me everything he was going through and he told me he loved me and missed me. That healed my broken heart. He got to call me one time for two minutes but that was all I got to survive three months without him. With nothing to do but wait, I had to learn patience so I didn't fall apart.
Seeing him for a few hours those three days in Texas at his basic training graduation made all the waiting worth it. I missed him more then I could express in words and all that was relieved when I saw him again. I cared about him and I knew I had feelings for him that were so strong that even distance couldn't replace. But when he left, I felt a part of me went with him. I wanted to pick up the phone and call him to tell him how much I missed him, but he couldn't answer. I felt like I had a disease I couldn't cure.
I spent every minute looking at him. I was afraid to waste the time I had because I knew it would all be taken from me again. I loved hearing about his experience in basic and all the things they put him through. I felt like I was a part of his life again, I could see him, talk to him, touch him. To me that's all that mattered. I knew there was no where else in the world I'd rather be, then with him.
When it came down to those last few minutes, I couldn't stop tears from forming and falling down my face. I watched him say goodbye to his family one by one. I hid my face that was streaked with mascara, nothing about me was perfect.
I felt his touch one last time. I smelt his scent one last time. Driving home was almost unbearable knowing what I was leaving behind. I wanted to stay. I was truly happy for him because he was doing what he wanted to do and I was supporting him. But I knew when I got home I had another three to four months of waking up without him and going to bed without a goodnight kiss. Maybe a phone call a day if I'm lucky. I knew his voice would be the only thing that would keep me going.
I didn't want to let him go. But I had to realize I wasn't actually letting him go, I was accepting that he is exactly where he wants and needs to be in his life. He will come home and I will be here waiting. The distance is making me a stronger person and I think it will only help our relationship grow. Making it through the hard times is what makes everything worth it in the end. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this man and these six months will soon be a distant memory of the past.
