Taking care of an older parent is not an easy consideration and many children are thrown into a situation where they want to take care of their parent's finances but they have not made proper contacts to do so. On many occasions the adults involved are sandwiched between the concerns of their children and their parents.
Ideally one should know something about health care management when taking care of an invalid parent but most people have no training or lack the ability to sit down and organize their resources should they have to manage parents that cannot look after themselves.
If you are living in Quebec but you have registered yourself as a legal custodian of your parent in another province, you may not know that laws regarding custody differ from this province and the others. Here it falls under civil law whereas elsewhere it falls under common law, as I understand it. So you may be able to work out the distribution of a will but other particulars may differ depending on where you live.
Having access to parent's funds might be vital especially if they are not mobile and you must move them about. This involves filling out forms regarding being a power of attorney at your local bank and you would need to have the parent there in order to follow through with the procedure. If you are a sibling and are busy with your own commitments then it would be wise to get others to have power of attorney as well.
One of the most difficult issues that arise is dealing with the stress occurring when a parent gets ill and cannot manage their day-to-day activities. Things to look for are that they have not been able to dress themselves properly, or have left cooking unattended on the stove. Then you would have to get together with other siblings and discuss a strategy of either putting your parent in a nursing home or in a place where she can be attended. If the situation is not as drastic and the parent is still independent but has become disabled you might have to consider getting a social worker to call in from time to time.
It is important that you do not feel shy about asking other siblings to help out when it comes to looking after a parent or older relative especially when you have a family to manage yourself. Surprising amounts of people are unable to take time off for themselves to reduce their stress in these situations and need to make a conscious effort to do so. Here it is wise to ask others in the family to divide the care taking so that the stress is minimized.
