Firstly, do you want to stop self-harming? If you don't then this is not the article for you. You may even find the tips insulting. Stop reading now as it will not help you.
But if you do, here are some tips I have given through peer support that have proven useful:
Set a date to stop
If you are cutting nearly every day then breaking it is like breaking an addiction. Throw away all your blades on an allotted day (preferably one where you won't be facing too much stress). You can let a friend know what you are planning if you think they can help. Alternatively, you may want to keep it to yourself if you think being scrutinized will add pressure.
Use distraction if you need to
The classic distraction technique is to hold ice cubes. This works because you experience a sensation, but it will not cause long term harm. Alternatively, try threading large beads onto an elastic cord. You can “ping” it if you need to, and it just looks like a bracelet. If you feel pressure building, go for a run or play some sports. But be careful with distraction techniques. If you use them for too long or too frequently you are just replacing one habit with another, albeit less harmful one.
Try not to keep feelings internalized
Part of the problem for self-harmers is getting used to letting your feelings out. You may feel you have turned into a whinger, but there is nothing wrong with venting. Find a peer support group, talk to a friend, anything that means you are letting aggression out in a healthy way. People may initially be surprised to hear you complain, if you did not in the past. This is not because it is wrong, but because they are used to you behaving differently. If people notice a difference it's a positive.
Try to keep away from people you know are cutting
This may be tricky, but a friend who is still self-harming is not a good source of support. Do not feel you are “letting them down”. They have their method of coping and you are trying something new. They are in a different frame of mind to you and may criticize you for being “selfish” in not internalizing your anxieties. You are not being selfish, you are trying to move on.
Don't be thrown by back-tracking
Though you should aim to stop self-harming entirely, if you do slip up it's just that. A minor thing. Don't think everything up until then is pointless. Just re-start from that point. Also, look at what triggered you off and recognize it.
Avoid your triggers
Look at the things that make you self-harm. Maybe it's a friend who makes little snide comments. Maybe it is arguments with a sibling. Try to avoid these situations as much as possible. Just looking at what upsets you will help you to see how external factors affect you.
Reward yourself
Giving up self-harming is a very brave thing for you to do, so why not reward yourself? After a week buy yourself a CD or have a night out at the weekend to let off steam. You could even have a small reward each day, such as some candy or some time to yourself. Over time it will become easier, so rewards can be less frequent.
Take time to yourself
Each day take a little bit of time to relax. Have a bath, light some scented candles, listen to music. You know which things you enjoy. If a yoga class would annoy you then avoid it. But if you need restful music then why not? Find something that works for you.
Try to solve problems
If you have a friend who constantly makes mean comments, confront them. You do not have to be aggressive but let them know you do not appreciate it. Maybe they did not realize it hurt you as you did not react before. In doing this you remove pressure factors.
Recognize that you are unique
Do not compare yourself to other people. Maybe someone else seems really sorted or stopped self-harming over night. If you are not like someone else it does not make you any less of a person. Some of us are more emotional than others and what works for one person may not work for you. Look at your aims and what you have done. And good luck!
