Even good parents have kids who make bad decisions. When faced with the possibility of drug abuse taking place in their homes, they may indignantly exclaim "not my kid!" Parents must be willing to take action at the first sign of trouble. By not marginalizing drug or alcohol abuse, you will be better able to deal with the problem. Things you don't want to tell yourself are:
- "It's just a phase"
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"She's just expressing her individuality"
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"He's just a kid; kids do stupid things."
If this truly were a phase, part and partial to adolescence, then every teen would have this phase. You'd be able to walk into your teen's homeroom at school and see the same type of behavior or appearance in each and every one of his or her classmates. Hanging around with others who abuse drugs and alcohol is not an expression of individuality. It's an unhealthy and dangerous habit.
Drug and alcohol abuse and addiction have a multi-dimensional impact on teens. Their social, emotional, cognitive and physical selves may be profoundly disrupted or damaged in the wake of drug abuse and addiction. Do you suspect your teen is abusing drugs or alcohol? The following list contains some things to look for if your suspicions are already aroused.
Is your teen:
- Moody
- Argumentative
- Secretive
- Exhibiting disruptive behavior
- Absent from school
- Losing interest in extracurricular activities
- On the phone at odd hours
- Deceptive
- Spending time with friends you haven't met
If your teen is behaving in any of the above ways, it is your right and duty as a parent to check up on your teen. As a minor living in your home, your teenager does not have a "right to privacy" (no matter how much s/he insists s/he does!) The first thing to do if you suspect a problem is to go through your kid's bedroom. If that proves unfruitful, administer a home version of a drug test.
Getting Help
Parents who set healthy boundaries and model moral behavior should expect their adolescents to follow suit. However, in some cases teens feel a need to explore beyond the safe zone of the boundaries set by their parents. When this happens and the teen gets caught behaving badly, it's easy for parents to blame themselves. Instead of focusing on trying to figure out where (if at all) you went wrong as a parent, focus on doing the right thing for your teen. You must act swiftly and unequivocally to address the problem.
Don't be afraid or ashamed to admit that the problem is bigger than you can handle on your own. Many people feel a stigma in asking for help. They perceive weakness in themselves if they can't "fix" a problem in the family. The best and most effective course of action is to deal with abuse and addiction as the serious thing that it is. This may involve calling your local police department and filing charges of drug possession against your teen. You may also need to get your son or daughter into an inpatient treatment facility.
There are many resources available, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), and Al-Anon, each of which is designed to help those affected by addiction and their families.
