Dieting is not only a annoying, painful, and slow process, it's about taking risks you haven't taken before. sometimes those risks will scare you by removing the bridge most often used for a comfortable, lazy retreat when you give up. remove the bridge, and force yourself to walk forward.
Last night I did something that was without a doubt, the scariest thing I'd ever done: I packed up almost all of my fat clothes and put them aside for charity. In the past, I had always kept my fat clothes as a “just in case I gain the weight back” safety net, but this time is different because I'm throwing away the safety net. There's no going back once you do this, and that's why it's a scary step.
Anyone who's gained, lost, and then gained the weight back again knows the feeling all too well of holding onto the “security blanket” of larger sizes because they're familiar with the regular and predictable pattern of failure experienced in the past with diets. We unknowingly set ourselves up for failure by holding onto the past, although we're not apt to openly admit it unless someone points it out. By holding onto the larger sizes, we are admitting defeat before we've run the good race, admitting we'll return right back to the old habits. Breaking free of the failure pattern is the hardest thing we'll ever do.
Of course we also make mistakes on the other side of the coin that set us up for failure: we buy a bikini and use packing tape to mount it on the front of our refrigerators so we don't ever eat again. The idea is if we see it constantly, it will be a motivating source - like the Yoplait yogurt commercial and the woman trying for months to fit into it. Our disappointment comes when we don't fit into the suit that doubles as dental floss and we give up. The other symptom women experience is eventually we don't see the bikini taped to the fridge door as we open it because we've become over-exposed to the message we're hoping to plant in our brains.
We stop and beat ourselves up and wonder how we could fail.
It's easy - we won't let go of the past while having a hard time envisioning and embracing the future. It's not so much about willpower and goal setting as it is about being emotionally invested.
The old black and white images of rail skinny men on grainy, fast skipping film, plays in my mind. I recall the daredevils of the day, walking on tight ropes strung between buildings, and carrying heavy, flexible poles. They were interesting under the circus tent with a net below, but we became riveted to them once they dropped the net and dared to take their acts to a new level because it was all risk. Risk holds our interest; playing it safe is like looking at the circus' fat lady - boring.
If we, as dieters, aren't willing to give up our fat clothes “net”, we won't ever hear the applause of the crowd or feel the thrill of having done something great. We can stay under the big top and fall back into the net when we're tired, but greatness doesn't fall backwards.
As I pulled each item of clothing off their hangers and I folded them neatly, I was very aware of the risk I was taking. It scared and excited me. Excitement set in when I understood something was different - my attitude. I had always given away my “too small” clothes, but not my fat clothes; this was the first time I had done that in eight years.
The other day I caught myself muttering under my breath, “I'm not going to sweat and fight for this piece of real estate again - once is enough!” The “property” I was referring to is my body and the gaining and losing of fat. In the past, I'd always whine about how my diet was no longer working and simply give up. This is the first time the conscious and subconscious brains are working together for the same end result, and I feel confident this will be the last time I will have to lose a large amount of weight. The most weight I've ever lost before was 40 pounds and I'm determined this time to remove 75 pounds from my frame and keep it off.
Everyone has seen stories of people who have lost massive amounts of weight, only to regain it all and then some, in a short period of time. I have nothing but sympathy for them. It was hard for me to lose 40 pounds, and yet one story I saw, the man lost 800 pounds and then gained it right back. I wonder if in cases like his…if he kept his fat clothes around. My heart and prayers go out to him because that's no small feat. You have to decide for yourself how many times you want to do this, and if “only once” is your answer, do it right so you can make it a lifestyle and not a diet you can never stick to.
Are you ready to throw out your safety net and walk ahead instead of sliding backwards? C'mon - you can do it! Believe in yourself and take a leap of faith!
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