Everyone at one time or another considers joining the Peace Corps, but of all the sites on the web, no one talks about their journey to enlist. Follow this extended series of honest articles and you will know for yourself what it takes!
I must confess I love watching (or should I say listening) to infomercials for a variety of reasons. One, it reminds me of my own stupid purchases. As Robin Williams joked in his “Live On Broadway” special, “You should take the ab belt that shocks you're a** and wrap it around your forehead, turn it on and repeat to yourself, ‘I…will…not…buy…stupid…shit…again!'” Two, when I don't want to watch anything but I want background noise, I tune them in. Three, when I want to see the latest tripe or fine tune my ears to get past the dieting lies, I go search them out so I keep up to date on the emotional pitch being used by advertisers.
It's therapeutic to admit to one's own dumb purchases that play on your emotional desires, so let me slide back the confessional curtain and step inside and admit to my stupidities.
- I bought the ab belt and didn't get six pack abs; I got uncomfortably shocked and a few burn marks/welts on my stomach. Dumb!
- I've got several fad diet books; most have been consigned to the trash. Among them are Atkins, the Rotation Diet, Pritikin Diet, Perricone Diet, The Fat Flush Plan, The Liver Diet, and Michael Thurman's 6 Week Body Makeover to name a few.
- I tried the aloe vera gel drinks, the protein powders, every over the counter diet pill and vitamin under the sun.
- I wore the “solar suits” that make you sweat like a rain forest (and stink like a skunk) while I rode an exercise bike. This was just gross.
- I paid for hypnosis, hypnotic tapes, and another program called The Smart Technique, which is supposed to reprogram your brain with positive thoughts and affirmations about weight and food. I'm still fat.
- I went for body wraps that cost me $35 a shot (that was also nearly 20 years ago) and lasted as long as you didn't ingest any caffeine, sugar, or salt. You can guess how long that lasted!
- I have bought equipment off the TV and didn't use it for long periods of time. I am starting to return to some of this stuff, but most pieces have been thrown out.
I'm sure there's much, much more, but I can't think of them at the moment. I'm no longer embarrassed to admit to my emotional shortcomings; I'm finally ready to make a solid commitment and do what it takes to get healthy and stay that way. You have to admit to all the things you've tried as a shortcut in order to face facts and say, “How much time have I wasted being fat and trying to get skinny quick? How much money did I waste by being sucked in by these emotional pitches? How much quality life did I give up being defeated by these strategies?” If you were at all like me, you've wasted huge amounts of cash and have absolutely nothing to show for it.
It's time to put away the childish notions we can have a great killer body without the work. It just doesn't happen that way. We know the most basic rule of physics: for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction . Put it into play: for every dumbbell you lift, the corresponding muscle gains strength and becomes lean. For every cardio training session you engage in, the fat distributed around your body will be released a little bit at a time and used as an energy source. It's a fact you have to move it to lose it, and no amount of shortcuts will ever change the basic physics of this formula.
We don't like having to go “backwards” to fundamentals, and truth be told, we'd outlaw them if possible. You see, “fundamentals” conjures absolutely no sexy images to our minds. When it comes to moving, grunting, and sweating, all kinds of lurid, erotic images flood our brains, and exercise is nowhere to be found in the mental slide show. The ugly truth is, the only way we'll end up with those sexy images in reality is to go back to the basics of food and the “E” word…exercise.
It's entirely possible to correct some body flaws with diet alone, but that's only half the equation. Every single time they run the Hydroxycut TV ads and I see the perfectly chiseled body on the model, I know the product didn't give her that body – the weight training, the ab sculpting, and the sweating did. No product in the world can burn the fat off or give you an all over toned appearance. Those results only come from sweating, gasping, grunting, and aching – there's no other way around it.
