Recently if you've been watching the news, just before Valentines Day there were a flurry of stories about how chocolate is good for you, it has lots of antioxidants and can help improve your mood. I'm always amazed at how these stories that make the evening news aren't classified as “advertisements”.
Back in the 1980's, I can remember a scientific story that said chocolate had a little bit of cocaine in it because the processing of the cacao plant could be made into chocolate or used in the manufacturing of cocaine. This “science” was laughable for one main reason: cocaine is an illegal substance, and if it were used in chocolate, the federal government would've come down on these companies like a rock. It also ignores the fact chocolate and cocaine are harvested from two different plants. So much for reliable scientific claims!
Today, chocolate's being made out to be a health food! One study claims dark chocolate is loaded with antioxidants that can protect your heart. Another study I've read recently said chocolate could help you lose weight. Today the newest study claims chocolate could help improve brain function. There are two catches to these claims: parsing the language, and noting who's paying for the studies that make the claims.
In the case of today's study claiming chocolate could help to improve brain function, the language is worth noticing: “COULD”, not “does”. This is a common tactic that is referred to as a “weasel word” and it's part of a standard rhetoric class on the college level. Advertisers use these sort of non-committal words like “might”, “could”, “should”, “perhaps” and avoid using definitive terms such as “does” and “proven”. Many people miss the subtle difference that legally allows companies to make such claims; “could” means it can, but not necessarily will. “This diet could be the answer to your prayers! It has worked for thousands!” When you try the miracle diet, you don't lose weight or fat - except for in the wallet. It could've worked for you, but it didn't, and therefore the company that manufactured the product is not liable if it didn't perform for you.
The second thing to pay attention to is who's footing the bill for the study. Again, in the case of the latest “chocolate is a health food!” group, it's important to see Mars Inc., one of the largest manufacturers of vending machine chocolate, paid for the study. Of course they did - it's in their financial interest to back a study that will help sell their product! That's about as reliable as Exxon Mobil paying a right wing conservative think tank to rebut for them the charges global warming is a man-made disaster. Exxon Mobil isn't interested in alternative energies like solar or wind because they won't continue to receive their obscene record profits, so they're paying a group to float global warming is junk science.
If you want to improve your health, ditch the chocolate and trade it in for actual health food like vegetables and fruits. These foods contain real antioxidants and flavonoids that will protect your heart. Remember a simple homily often used in the business world: “garbage in, garbage out”! Fruits and vegetables are not loaded with fat and do not undergo a massive processing procedure before they're eaten. It's also wise to remember how to grade food:
- A = food consumed in its natural state
- B = food slightly processed (apples turned into unsweetened apple sauce)
- C = moderately processed (apples turned into juice)
- D = major processing (apples turned into apple pie)
If you can find raw, unprocessed dark chocolate, chances are high the flavonoids and antioxidants that scientists claim that are beneficial to the heart are in abundance, then the chocolate would be an “A” food. Otherwise, I'm sorry to be the ants at your picnic, but everyone logically knows commercial chocolate rightfully earns a “D” because it's over processed and loaded with fat and other fillers.
Just accept the fact and realize no matter how much money Mars Inc. spends on studies, it will never make commercialized chocolate a health food. Take a trip to your local health food store and choose a chocolate substitute called carob instead. You can dress up a pig and put lipstick on it, but it's still a pig in a dress wearing lipstick.
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