In today’s society pregnant women are constantly scrutinized and judged for their actions.
The moment you break the news
Once pregnant the news is broadcasted and before you know it, a distant family friend approaches you to congratulate you on your good new! What happened to the days whereby your personal life and encounters were respected and treated personal?
Being pregnant
Being pregnant instantly labels you as a different human-being. Your no longer the capable, independent career women, the nurtured lover & or wife, the socialite nor fashion icon! Who says you can’t be pregnant, capable and glamorous at the same time?
The generation gap
Not only do pregnant women have to compete with other pregnant women to survive the “good and safe pregnancy” syndrome but they need to adjust to the mothering nature of the older generation. This does not mean that the older generation does not have correct views; it’s just sometimes the views are based on old values and methods and are completely out-of-date and unrealistic in today’s society. The older generation, question a pregnant women’s ability to:
- take on extra activities during pregnancy
- sustain a healthy pregnancy while maintaining a household
- take care of yourself and family
- do any physical activity or work so that they do not impede on the health of the baby
- conceive naturally
- connect with your pregnancy
And the list goes on…..
Competing views
Women are now their own enemies during pregnancy as they compete with other pregnant women; rather than forming a support circle during this parallel time. Also, each pregnancy is different and everyone’s emotional, physical and mental state is different; so what works for someone may not necessarily work for someone-else.
The questions during pregnant-to-pregnant conversations are generally:
- did you conceive naturally?
- did it take you long to conceive and if so why?
- When was your last menstrual cycle?
- Did you have morning sickness?
- What brands of maternity wear have you bought and wear did you purchase them?
- What’s the method of delivery for your child?
- What hospital are you booked into and why? Is this under private or public?
- How many pre-natal classes are you taking?
- Are you taking vitamins? If so which ones?
- How big was you belly at X months being pregnant?
- How much weight have you gained and where?
- It is a boy or girl? Have you chosen names?
- Have you organized the nursery? what brands are you purchasing for your babies essentials?
And the list goes on…..
Sometimes the questions asked above are only asked to compare pregnancies and be leveled. What this means is that the intent of the questions are to only undermine the other persons dignity and capability level; rather than foster a close relationship and better understanding of the experience.
Emotional, physical and mental state
What is commonly overlooked during pregnancy is the women’s emotional, physical and mental state. It is critical that these states are balanced during pregnancy in order to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Many people overlook the anxiety, physical endurance, and emotional turmoil that may occur during pregnancy. There is certainly anxiety caused firstly with your ability to conceive and then the anxiety endured from the pressures to ensure you carry a healthy fetus full-term, in addition to the continuous changes in hormonal and physical state of the body.
Ensuring that you keep well informed on the essentials of pregnancy will avoid any mental blocks. However, it is important to take information as it comes and then assess what is important to you and what is absolutely essential to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Many of us are guilty of information overload that can cause further distress.
On the emotional front, it is unrealistic and impossible no matter how much control you have; to just relax and let nature take its course during pregnancy. This is more so difficult, when you have endured years of pain & setbacks to fall pregnant in the first place. No matter how strong and positive you are in character, it is normal to have some level of anxiety as you progress through your pregnancy.
It is also important to remain level headed and connect with your inner self-beliefs prior and during being pregnant. This will ensure that you remain focused on the end-result to ultimately create a shield of protection from impeding views.
Your values in particular, the respect you have for yourself during this time is crucial to maintain a sense of well-being and trust in your own actions. Your actions do not need to be certified by a professional nor through public opinion.
Conclusion
Society today has been part of this scrutiny and therefore next time you are pregnant or have an encounter with a pregnant woman, step back and think about the needs of the mother-to-be. Be considerate of the fact that pregnancy is not an easy experience for some and remember that the mother-to-be will provide a future for our children of tomorrow.
