One of the worst fears you may have as a husband is thinking that your wife may actually be a lesbian. Since it’s in poor taste to just ask your wife if she’s a lesbian, you have to be pretty sneaky about it. Luckily for you, there are many ways you can tell if your wife secretly likes women instead of men.
However, there’s definitely something to keep in mind if you think your wife is a lesbian. It may be possible that she likes women AND men. This means you won’t really have too much to worry about if she married you – because it means she loves you, too.
But if you’re really curious and have noticed certain lesbian tendencies, it might just make you feel better to know the truth. If that’s the case, then using these 15 signs you have a lesbian wife will help you get to the bottom of things.
- She prefers your feminine features.
There are many guys out there who possess feminine features. This can be anything from long hair to a less defined jawline. If you’ve been told you have girly features and those are the things your wife likes best about you, it’s possible she’s actually just attracted to women in addition to men. So just ask her what she likes best about you physically and you may have your answer.
- She enjoys watching woman on woman porn.
If you two like to watch porn together and your wife is always gravitating toward videos with more woman on woman action, it could be because she’s a lesbian. However, something to keep in mind is that there are also plenty of straight women who like this kind of porn purely based on the fact that it’s simpler and less demeaning. So don’t use this sign alone.
- She agrees with you when you call a woman attractive.
Most wives don’t exactly like when their husband points out a really hot girl. But if your wife is pointing them out or even just agreeing with you when she catches you staring at a particularly good looking woman, it could be because she’s a lesbian.
- She’s overly supportive of gay rights.
To be fair, gays should have just as many rights as straight people. Some straight people actively support gay rights for a number of reasons. However, if your wife is constantly bringing it up and making a big fuss about supporting them every single time she gets the opportunity, it’s because she feels strongly about it for herself. She’s basically sticking up for her own sexuality this way – meaning she’s a lesbian.
- She has tomboy tendencies.
Not all lesbians are seen as tomboys just like not all straight women are super girly. It’s a stereotype that can’t be used alone in determining if you have a lesbian wife. However, if she does happen to act very much like a tomboy in certain ways, it could cause you to question her sexuality and think she’s a lesbian. Use this sign with caution, though.
- She tends to notice women in groups over men.
When the two of you are people watching and you see a larger group, who does your wife point out first? Does she notice the men or the women? If a girl is a lesbian, she’ll automatically be drawn to looking at the women and this is a really good way to tell where her attention falls.
- She’s very touchy-feely with other women.
Some people are just physically affectionate with everyone. But if your wife isn’t really the type to be touchy-feely with other men but she’s basically all over other women, it could be a sign she’s a lesbian. Most people don’t go around hugging, sitting really close to, or rubbing the backs of others who are just friends. Keep that in mind if you think you have a lesbian wife.
- She is VERY close with a specific female friend.
Girls have best friends. That’s just something that you have to accept. But if you think she’s very close with a certain female friend and even has sleepovers at her place – as a grown, married woman – then that would be cause for concern. Not many adult women have sleepovers with their friends on a regular basis so if your wife is, you may want to take a deeper look at that.
- She enjoys books/movies with lesbian couples.
There are people who don’t care what sexual orientation a couple is in a book or a movie because they just enjoy a good story. But if your wife is drawn to movies and books with lesbian couples, it may be for a reason. If she’s watching those types of movies and reading those types of books a lot more than any other ones, then it could be because she’s a lesbian.
- She lies to you about meeting with a female friend.
This is a huge red flag and a big sign you have a lesbian wife. If she’s going out with a certain female friend and then lying to you about it – she’s probably a lesbian with her. If she was just a friend, there would be no reason to give you false details about who she’s been with.
- She gets frisky with girls when she drinks.
If your wife gets drunk and then ends up kissing and being really frisky with other women, it may be because she’s a lesbian. Many people’s true nature shines through when they’ve been drinking a lot of alcohol and your wife could be no different. Pay attention to her drunken behavior.
- She avoids sleeping with you but gets herself off.
All couples go through dry spells in the bedroom. However, if your dry spell is accompanied with your wife getting herself off without you, it could be a sign she just isn’t turned on by you – a man. The trick to knowing this is to just ask her why she hasn’t wanted to have sex with you. If she says she’s just “not in the mood” but she’s doing it all herself, it could be a sign she’s a lesbian.
- Her mannerisms are like a guy checking out girls.
You’re a guy. You know very well what it looks like when a man checks out a woman. If you see your wife doing the same thing and making the same faces a guy would when looking at an attractive woman, it’s a sign she may just be attracted to women in addition to men.
- She’s very playful with other women.
You know your wife and you know how she acts around other people. So you’ll be able to tell when her demeanor changes to one of a playful nature. Does this happen when new women are introduced to her or is she always like that? If she’s really playful around a new woman, it could be because she’s developed a crush on her. Keep a lookout for your wife’s flirty behavior and if it’s directed at women, you could have a lesbian wife.
- She has expressed interest in women before.
You could just see that she’s interested in women by the way she talks. Does she say she finds a certain woman attractive? Your wife may not even be trying to hide her affection for women from you. This will definitely be obvious because you won’t really have to wonder if it’s true. You can even ask her if she mentions how she finds a certain woman to be attractive and she could just be honest with you. That doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you, though.
Before you make the assumption that your wife is a lesbian, learn the signs first. After you’ve gathered enough information, you can then go to her and ask if she has feelings for women.