We like to think that turning on another person is incredibly difficult, but it’s not. Turning on someone simply consists on finding what turns them on. If you’re using the same technique on every girl you encounter, it may be why you’re not as successful with women as you’d like to be. Many men forget dirty talk and ignore it when it comes to foreplay and sex, however, what they seem to forget is the importance and effectiveness of dirty talk.
When it comes to women, mental stimulation is more important than physical stimulation. Of course, if she’s attracted to you, she’ll be physically stimulated, however, if you really want to turn her on, you need to turn on her brain. At the end of the day, you want her to be able to orgasm. Many women don’t orgasm during sexual intercourse, however, if you mentally stimulate her, you’ll be that much closer to making her orgasm.
If you want to dirty talk with your partner, you’re going to need to learn how to do it. Of course, knowing what to say will help you greatly, but what’s more important is how you say it. But fellas, that’s why I’m here. You’re going to learn what to say and how to dirty talk to a girl.
Why dirty talk?
It’s really important that you understand this because this is what differs between men and women. Men are able to become physically stimulated without mental stimulation. In other words, you can see a woman a become turned on instantly. Now, this can happen with women, however, most women require mental stimulation in order to be turned on.
Women require communication when it comes to emotional intimacy. Men develop an emotional connection by having sex with someone, however, women require an emotional connection in order to have sex. You see the difference, yes? This is why dirty talking is so important when having sex as words are literally able to turn her on.
What type of girl gets turned on by dirty talk?
This is a popular question as many people assume that there’s a specific type of woman that responds well to dirty talk. The fact of the matter is, all women respond well to dirty talk, however, it’s the type of dirty talk that you use that makes the difference. Some women get turned on with vulgar dirty talk, while other women prefer more subtle dirty talk.
In other words, all women can become turned on by dirty talk, however, it simply depends on their preferences with the type of dirty talk they like. See? It’s not as complex as we like to think it is.
How to dirty talk to a girl
Now that you know almost every girl likes dirty talk, now it’s time that you learned how to dirty talk with a girl. Of course, we’re going to show you what you can say, but how to say it matters much more then you think.
What does she like?
She may not like dirty talk at all or she may like it really vulgar or gentle. The point is, you don’t actually know what she likes. Finding out what she likes is crucial if you truly want to turn her on. Now, you can find out what she likes in a couple different ways. You can simply ask her which is always the easiest and fastest way to find out. Or, you can find out during foreplay and sex by testing out different things and gauging it off of her reaction. For example, if you start telling her that she’s sexy and she reacts by moaning then you know she’s enjoying it. However, if you tell her that you love the way she feels and she says nothing, then either she isn’t enjoying the dirty talk or simply doesn’t know how to respond.
In all honesty, if you’re going to test out the dirty talk during foreplay and sex then it’s best if you then ask her after what she thought. That way, you can see if you gauged her reaction properly and also you can talk about it.
You don’t need to wait until you’re in the bedroom in order to dirty talk with your girl. You can dirty talk throughout the day in order to build up the sexual tension. You can call her on the phone, text her, whatever means of communication you use, you can dirty talk with it. If you start earlier, then you’ll be able to slowly build up the tension and get her excited to see you when she comes home from work.
The simpler the better
I know you want to impress her but trust me, don’t do this if you’re just wanting to show her that you’re a man. What ends up happening, in that case, you overthink it and it comes off as exaggerated and overdone. If you want to try dirty talk with your girl, then you need to do it simply. Your sex life isn’t a porn movie, so don’t assume that women are going to appreciate being talked to in the same way that women are talked to in porn.
To avoid any problems, keep it simple. Men tend to overthink dirty talk because of the pressure that’s on them to succeed and impress the girl. If you want to dirty talk, keep it simple by talking about her body or the way she feels. Stay away from using too much description.
Every woman is different
There are some women that love being called a slut or a dirty girl and there are other women that don’t like being called that. You need to communicate with her and find out what her fantasy is. That way, you can adjust the way to dirty talk to her desires. You can sit down with her and specifically talk about sex, but if you’re nervous to do it this way, there are other methods you can try to bring up the conversation.
It can be uncomfortable to talk about sex, but talking about what you’re interested in should never be uncomfortable. So, use visuals. If you’re watching soft porn or porn together, you can use those visuals or audio as a way to indicate things that you like or don’t like. You can also ask her if she likes a certain act that’s happening and see how she reacts. That way, instead of having a formal conversation about it, it feels more casual.
Go slowly in the beginning
Yes, you’re eager to talk dirty to your girl and turn her on, but go slow instead. It will turn her on but what’s important is that you go slow to not only ease her into it but to find your own groove. In addition, when you go slowly, you’re building up the sexual tension between you two which will result in more passionate and intense sex.
By going slow, you’re also testing out the boundaries and seeing what she likes and doesn’t like. Start by saying one or two things and then seeing how she reacts. Now, she may moan or groan, grab you tightly – these are good signs. Then, you can take it from there. If she’s not responding in any positive way or is neutral, then back off the dirty talk.
Find your groove
Some dirty words are going to come out of your mouth more naturally than others. You’re going to want to test words out and see what makes you feel the most comfortable. Remember, that having sex isn’t supposed to be perfect, you need to experiment and test these things out. If not, you won’t be able to find out what feels natural and comfortable for you and your partner.
You’re not supposed to describe to her in detail about what you like or how she looks. You want to keep your dirty talk short and sweet. Get right to the point. You can talk later, right now, you want to get to the point about how you feel or how she makes you feel. Also, be specific when you’re dirty talking her, tell her that her eyes or beautiful or stomach. There’s a huge difference between “You look beautiful” and “your stomach is beautiful.”
You know that practice makes perfect. You may fumble a couple times along the way but that’s what sex is all about. It’s about learning new things and experiencing feelings with someone else. It’ll take some time in order for you to become relaxed when you’re dirty talking to your girl. Plus, if she’s also new to it, it may take some time for her as well to get used to it. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that it’ll take time.
The 5 don’ts of dirty talk
- Do not shame your partner for differing sexual preferences: your partner, she may not like vulgar dirty talk and that’s okay. Your sexual preferences may not be the same as her sexual preferences, however, you must respect her choices. Just because you don’t like them, doesn’t mean what she likes is wrong. They’re simply different than you. So, don’t shame her because of it. Sex should be open and emotionally free.
- Copying porn to impress her: most of us have watched porn and most of us have copied the things we’ve seen in porn thinking that it’s sex. However, porn is not natural, it’s acted. Which means that what happens on screen is not a realistic setting of what happens in real life. Do not copy acts from porn, thinking that this is how it should be done. In addition, don’t expect her to simulate porn scenes, assuming that it’s what she likes.
- Lying about your own sexual preferences: many of us do things in order to impress another person. Now, you may want to impress her which is normal, however, don’t lie about your own sexual preferences and repress these desires just to make her like you. You must be open about your own sexual preferences and trust that she’ll be understanding. It’s important to talk about what you both like and don’t like, that way, you understand not only yourself but your partner as well.
- Not talking to your partner: communication is essential for good sex. If you want to have good sex then you’re going to need to talk to your partner about sex. Of course, it can feel slightly awkward in the beginning but you need to express your feelings and emotions with your partner. You may like certain things they do or not like it – either way, they need to know. You also need to know if they enjoy what you’re doing, if not, then you need to change some things. This will only make the sex better.
- Lacking your own personal boundaries: everyone has their own personal boundaries. But what’s important is that you define them and then express those boundaries to your partner. In addition, your partner also needs to know their own personal boundaries and where the line is. You may not feel comfortable with the level of dirty talk that they like, this is something that you need to talk about with them.
Examples of dirty talk
1.I love the way I feel inside of you.
2. You make me so horny.
3. Whenever I see you, I get hard.
4. You look so sexy in that underwear/bra/lingerie
5. You taste amazing.
6. Your skin is so soft, I love it.
7. You look so sexy in that position.
8. It feels great when you <insert act>.
9. You look beautiful when you’re naked.
10. I loved it when you <insert act>.
Now that you know some examples, try them out in the beginning. Once you get into it, you’ll be able to gradually increase your dirty talk and find some words and phrases that suit you the best.