Your friends may tell you that if you want to turn a guy on, you need to talk dirty to them. Now, this isn’t bad advice, but it’s always easier said than done. What does it mean to dirty talk to a guy? Well, don’t worry, if you’re feeling a little lost, I’m here to get you set on the right path.
Knowing how to talk dirty to a guy is definitely a useful skill that’ll come in handy when you’re wanting to turn him on. When you know how to dirty talk a guy, you have the power and ability to focus the attention on what matters which is your sexual chemistry. Now, there are levels of dirty talk, but, just like sex, everyone gets turned on to different things. Therefore, your dirty talk may vary between partners.
But there could also be a chance that your guy doesn’t like dirty talking – yes like I said, everyone has their own sexual preferences. So, before getting hot and heavy with dirty talk, you need to test the waters and see if dirty talk even turns him on. If not, this isn’t something you should focus on then.
Why should you dirty talk to your partner?
Now, you may be asking yourself, why would I dirty talk to my partner? Good question. Well, dirty talk can be used for a couple of things.
Firstly, dirty talking helps to keep your partner’s attention on you. You want them to think about you when you’re in foreplay or having sex. Dirty talk helps by directing their thoughts on to you. If you’re talking about your body, they’ll be thinking about you.
Secondly, dirty talk is extremely arousing and alone has the ability to turn someone on without you laying a hand on them. If you want to increase the sexual tension or make the sex hotter, then dirty talking is one way to do it.
And lastly, it works to spice up a relationship. If you feel that the sex between you and your man is getting a little dull, then throw in some dirty talking and it’ll bring up with sexual energy.
What’s the key to dirty talk?
Of course, you’re going to be shown how to dirty talk, but there’s one thing about dirty talking that is the most important factor. When dirty talking, you need to feel comfortable and natural. If not, you’re going to show that you’re uncomfortable and uneasy with it. You don’t have to be a specific type of girl in order to dirty talk, you simply need to feel comfortable.
What you need to do prior to learning how to dirty talk is to completely remove any preconceived notion you have of dirty talking and start off fresh. So, before reading on, you need to know that you can talk dirty to your man regardless of who you are.
How to start dirty talking to your man
Of course, you want to know what to say, but before you even get there, you need to learn how to say it. When it comes to dirty talking, there’s more to it than what you say. You need to know how to say it the right way in order to get the right reaction. For example, if you sit on top of your man, start giggling and then tell him that you want him, well, you probably aren’t going to get a hot and steamy reaction. Now, this isn’t to say that you won’t get a reaction, you will, but it depends on the reaction you’re looking for. But you’re going to learn now how to dirty talk to your man the right way.
Find out if he likes it
Of course, it won’t hurt you to know how to dirty talk whether your man likes it or not. But, you’re not going to be using this much if your man isn’t into it. IT could be that your man likes vulgar dirty talking or it could be that he prefers more subtle dirty talk. But, the point is, you won’t know if he likes it or not unless you either ask him or test it out during sex. In all honesty, it’s better you ask him straight up whether or not he likes dirty talking and if so, what type of dirty talking he prefers. Now, if you’re shy to ask him, then why not suggest he talks dirty to you? That way, you see the way he dirty talks and are able to understand the level of dirty talking he feels comfortable with.
You don’t have to be dirty
I know this may seem like an odd thing to read right now, considering you want to learn how to dirty talk but the thing is, you don’t need to actually say anything dirty in order to turn him on. I know, I know, this whole time you thought you had to say some overly graphic and vulgar things, but you don’t have to. Dirty talking isn’t necessarily about saying vulgar and graphic words, of course, you can say these things, but it’s important to know that you don’t have to. Dirty talking can be as subtle as “I love when you touch me.” It’s soft, it’s sweet, and it’s gentle, yet, it’s a little spicey at the same time.
Say what makes you feel sexy
If you’re not comfortable with vulgar dirty talk, then don’t do it. If you’re forcing something that doesn’t feel comfortable for you, then it’s not going to come off as sexy. If anything, he’s going to feel the awkwardness and it’ll ruin the moment for the both of you. In other words, test out dirty talking with your man and see what makes you feel sexy and what crosses your own personal boundaries.
You haven’t done this before, so it’s best if you not rush into it. If you move too fast, you may scare yourself and lose confidence in dirty talking. You need to build your confidence around it and feel comfortable. When you want to turn a guy on, you need to be confident. So, you don’t have to start dirty talking by going all out and feeling disappointed if it doesn’t go as smoothly. Instead, start off just by feeling comfortable with moaning or groaning while having sex. Then, in between your moans and groans, throw in an “oh yes” or “right there.” This is very soft and subtle but will give you a chance to test it out without feeling uncomfortable.
If you try dirty talking with your partner and you turn out to be a natural at it, that’s great. But for some of us, it’ll take a little bit longer to get comfortable with it. It’s not a race so don’t feel bad, this just means you’ll have to practice. It may sound weird at first, plus, you’ll probably want to play around with your tones and words you use. So, don’t be shy about it, just practice. You and your man will have a couple of laughs until you find the right feeling and style for you.
Test where the boundaries are
You may not know where the boundaries are until you test them out. But it’s important that you do test the limits and see where the line is. Setting boundaries in sex is extremely important. If he likes dirty talking in a vulgar manner, however, you don’t like it, then you know where the boundary is. You don’t like it, so that’s where the line gets marked.
Remember, all men are different
You know that all women are different, so why wouldn’t it be the same for men? We like to think that all men are the same and are turned on by the same things but that’s not true. The fact is, all humans are different. Essentially, there’s no right way to dirty talk someone, it all depends on what makes you feel comfortable and what turns him on.
You may be able to tell a man that you want him to “spank you hard,” but saying that to another man may make him feel uncomfortable or turned off. But you’re not concerned about what turns on all men, what you need to focus on it what turns on your man. Once you’re able to find what turns your man on, then there’s no stopping you.
The 5 big dont’s
- Lying about what turns you on: I know you want to please your partner but lying to yourself isn’t the way to do it. If dirty talk doesn’t turn you on then tell your partner that. You can compromise and come to some type of agreement when it comes to things that you sexually like or don’t like. Don’t lie to yourself or your partner, pretending that you like things just to get their approval.
- Hiding your sexual preferences: we’re only human and that means that everyone has their own sexual preferences. Just because you don’t have the same preferences as your partner doesn’t make you weird, nor should it make you feel ashamed. You should never have to hide your sexual preferences from your partner. Instead, talk to them about what you like and see how they feel about it. They may not enjoy the same things as you but that doesn’t mean you have to hide from them.
- Doing things that don’t make you feel comfortable: like I said, everyone has their own sexual preferences and your partners may not necessarily match yours. Though you want to please them, you also need to do things that make you feel comfortable. If not, then what’s the point? You’re going to feel bad and they’re going to see it and also feel bad. Be honest with your partner and tell them where your boundaries are.
- Copying porn because you think he’ll like it: we all know how influential porn is to our sex lives. Most of us have watched porn since our teenage years and have a large understanding of sex because of porn. But porn isn’t sex. Okay, physically, it’s sex, however, it’s not what actually happens between couples on a daily basis. Porn is acting. If you’re watching porn and copying how they dirty talk to each other, well, most people won’t feel comfortable because it’s not natural. Instead, focus on what feels natural to you.
- Don’t judge their sexual preferences: maybe he doesn’t like dirty talk and that’s okay. If he doesn’t like it, he has a right not to. However, this doesn’t mean you need to shame him for his own sexual preferences. Remember, everyone is different, including your partner.
Dirty talking examples
So you think you have a decent understanding of dirty talk which is great. But now, you’re a little stuck on what you could say to your man. With time, you’ll find the words and phrases that’ll turn you and your man on the most. However, in the beginning, you may feel a little stuck which is completely normal. I mean, it’s your first time doing this! Well, here are some words and phrases you can test out with your partner.
1. I want you so badly right now.
2. You’re so sexy, I go crazy when I see/feel your <insert body part>. For example, you’re so sexy, I go crazy when I feel your arms grabbing me.
3. You feel so good inside of me.
4. I want you to lose control on me.
5. I want you to put your _____ in/on my ____.
6. Oh my god, <insert name>, you feel amazing inside of me.
7. You’re making me so wet.
8. I love when you <insert sexual act here>. For example, I love when you finger me.
9. You’re a dirty/naughty boy.
10. Spank me!
Dirty talk isn’t that hard once you get the hang out it. With that being said, you’ll need some practice in order to get comfortable with dirty talking to your man. So, get practising!