In the LGBTQ community, each sub-group uses their own terms to identify individuals within their community. The gay community isn’t any different. You’ve probably heard of some of these terms, like, bear, cub, or jock. But not everyone necessarily knows what these terms actually mean.
Most people hate labels, yet, we find ourselves constantly labelling and placing people and things under them. The next time you talk to someone who’s gay, they’ll probably tell you that those labels don’t exist and aren’t true. But, when someone who’s gay, sees another gay guy, they try to put them in a category. Stereotypes exist, people. And they’re not going anywhere.
Now, just because these stereotypes exist, doesn’t mean everyone fits into them. No one is ever just one thing, usually, people are a mix of these types of identities. Sure, we all think we’re special and don’t fall into any category, but most of us will find ourselves in at least a couple types. So, if you’re looking to meet the groups of homosexuals, well, look no further, we have them all here.
Well, you can already expect what a queen is like. They’re the type of gay guy that just loves everything dramatic. Remember that bitchy girl from high school? Yeah, well, that’s him. If he has a remote reason to be slightly annoyed, he’ll blow it up into soap opera. Being the center of attention is what he’s all about and has to be the loudest and most noticeable person in the room. If the attention isn’t on him, he’ll make sure it is.
They’re the cool gays. They’re emotionally expressive through their art, usually a stylist, photographer or designer. You’ll see him wearing a flannel shirt with thick framed glasses, maybe a minimalistic tattoo on their forearm. They look like they just woke up, but, they didn’t, they spent at least an hour getting their look down to perfection. You won’t find these guys at the club, but rather an art gallery or after-show party, these guys stick to their own kind. So, if you’re at a gay bar, you won’t be seeing them.
Well, this guy is completely obsessed with his appearance. Looks are number one for him so if you need him, you’ll find him at your local gym or tanning salon. His abs are the most important thing and possibly the defining feature for him, so he probably resembles a Ken doll. These guys tend to hang out with other adonis guys or straight men. Right, forgot to mention, these men typically consider themselves to be more like straight guys due to them working out – which is seen as a masculine hobby.
In the Closet
Sure, they may be gay, but they’re also happily married with kids. Are you two sleeping with each other? If the answer is yes, maybe you should reconsider. Do you think they’re going to leave their family to be with you? You may want to think again. If they didn’t come out of the closet before they were married with kids, the odds of them coming out now are pretty slim. For you, you should know that this relationship that you have with them won’t be going any further than the bedroom. You’ll just be known as his friend from work.
These guys live in the best neighbourhoods, wear the best clothes and are vegan. They’re uppity gay guys that think they’re better than you. They usually only talk among themselves and work in PR, marketing or entertainment. Sure, they make a bunch of cash but they’ll waste it on their wardrobes, luxury vacations and upscale restaurants. Are they interesting guys? Not really, you’ll probably just listen to them talk about how he’s friends with Lady Gaga and Prince Harry. But don’t worry you’ll never meet them unless because you’re not one of them.
The Fresh Gay
This guy just came out of the closet, so everything is new to him. It’s like he’s been reborn, it’s a new world. He hasn’t been introduced to all the rules or codes of being gay, so he’s innocent and pure. As a fresh gay, you’re cute and non-threatening, so other gay guys will eat you up. But beware, as a fresh gay, it’s easy to become a toy. So, if you’re an experienced gay guy, I would jump on this before he becomes tainted.
These guys run the gay community. They’re a small part of the gay world, however, they connect the straight world to the gay world. Gay guys love drag queens, I mean, they’re witty and flamboyant, but straight people really gobble them up. Drag queens are straight people’s secret pleasure and will swallow up their diva attitudes. You can find these guys in full out costumes at any gay club.
This guy always has something better to do than to see you. You agreed to meet up for dinner tonight but all of a sudden he came down with a wicked fever and needs to rest. Don’t expect him to get better tomorrow or the day after. In fact, don’t expect to see him ever again. So, if I were you, I’d write this guy off. If he really liked you he wouldn’t be flaking on you.
The Ladies Man
Ladies love this guy. In fact, if you need to find him, just look at the nearest swarm of women because he’ll be standing in the middle of it. He has his loyal group of fangirls that will bend over backwards for him. You won’t see him with many gay guys, this guy loves hanging around straight women. Is he one of the girls? Most definitely, but he still keeps his gay pride running strong. If you’re trying to get this guy, remember that you’ll have to face the opinions of all his girlfriends.
There are these group of gay guys under thirty which are the conventional stereotype of a gay guy. They all seem to look like Zac Efron – hot, chiseled and bright-eyed. They’re getting used to coming out, but basically, they’re the gays gone wild. Who do they attract? Older gay guys. These guys are youthful and looking for a wild night, a night that many of these older guys haven’t had in awhile.
The Hit it and Quit it
So you guys had an amazing date and ended up going home with each other. And now it’s been a couple of days and you haven’t heard from him. If you’ve texted him, maybe he replied, but it was nothing special. This guy just took the opportunity to get laid and now he’s onto the next. Don’t worry too much about this guy or think he did that because of you. He’s just a dick, karma will give it back to him one day.
Do they really exist? Or are these just the unicorns of the sexual world. They may consider themselves gay, but they’re not into having sex with you. No, you’re not unattractive, they just don’t feel anything for anyone. They’re attractive, they’re good conversationalists, they’re everything you could ever want, minus that one important part – their sex drive. You’ll become great friends with them, secretly want to have sex with them and then just accept that that’ll never happen.
You went on a date with this guy and you two just hit it off. Okay, but just because you guys clicked, doesn’t mean you have to move in together. This guy doesn’t know the difference between lust and love. In fact, after appetizers, he was already looking for the wedding rings. Connection is a beautiful thing but if he’s already jumping ten steps ahead, your warning flags should be raised high. This doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, he’s just a little desperate for love and affection. You don’t want to just cut this guy – be gentle. Let him go slowly and gently so that you don’t create a stage 5 clinger.
We’ve all met a bear. They’re typically older guys that are generally bigger and hairy, you know, like bears. If you wanted a real manly man, well, then these are your guys. They’re hyper-masculine, love drinking beer and maybe even have a motorcycle. If you love warm, furry arms to hold you through the night, these bears will cuddle you till you go into hibernation.
You can find this guy on Craigslist or Grindr at any time of the day. They love having sex – can you blame them? This guys are here just to have a good time. Do they want a relationship with you? Absolutely not. Maybe you’re lonely one night and end up swiping through Grindr when you spot them. Swipe them, they may not be looking for love but they’ll be there for you that night.
On paper, this guy is everything you could ask for and more. Your parents will be highly impressed when they see this guy hanging from your arm. He comes from a wealthy family, he has a great job, lives on his own. When you look at him, there isn’t any flaw visible, he’s the guy anyone would dream to marry. Yeah, well, his perfect-on-paper appeal isn’t what it seems. When you scratch the surface, he has a plethora of flaws that will probably become unbearable. You’re going to try to over these issues, but you’ll let him go. If this guy is so perfect, he wouldn’t be single.
The Political Gay
This guy is highly involved and passionate about LGBTQ policies. He’ll stand in front of the community and voice his concerns for what he believes in. He doesn’t care if you don’t like politics, he’s not here to be polite and make you feel comfortable. He’s here to make sure you know what his liberal beliefs are. Is he more radical than other gays? Yes, but he’s always fun for political banter. You’ll usually find him hanging out with other like-minded gays.
He prides himself on the fact that he’s managed to look straight this whole time. You probably didn’t even know he was gay until he told you. He’s all about the sports and being a man, so all you’ll see is testosterone pouring out of him. You’ll never find him in a pink shirt, only sports jersey and team logo baseball caps for this guy.
The Club Hopper
Whenever you go to the club, you usually see that couple that’s making out in the middle of the dance floor? That’s them, the club hopper. These guys love to party and hook up at clubs. They’re usually more experimental and wild, trying anything once whether it’s drugs or sex. Are they trashy? I wouldn’t say so, more like, free. So, if you want a carefree and fun night, hang out with a club hopper.
The Normal Gay
He’s just your regular gay guy. He’s nice, he’s employed, he loves his mom. Will you want to sleep with him? Maybe after a glass of wine. Will you want to date him? Nope. He’s the nice guy, you know, the one that everyone literally overlooks because he’s not an asshole who will treat you like shit. He’s going to be your best friend and the person you can always rely on. Maybe at some point, you’ll realize that this guy is a catch and you need to get on that. These guys are extremely rare and are usually taken.
If you thought there was only one type of gay guy, you were wrong. Now, not everyone fits into one stereotype, many fit into a variety of them, while some don’t fit under any. Maybe you found yourself under a couple of these stereotypes and if you did, that’s nothing to worry about. This isn’t supposed to be taken too seriously, every group in society has these.